Can be hard sometimes, but, I’ve become increasingly clear over the past year on something….

It is imperative regardless of what you do to be very clear on your values and beliefs and then to align your life with these values and do not move from them for anything or anyone. If they are true, you will be ‘okay’ through any storm….

I’ve learned this over and over this year…

Expect and Accept the very best within yourself & others…
do not settle for less because you deserve the best within yourself <3

♥
“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.” ♥ ~ Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

I’ve been dealing with and writing about this particular relationship situation since before I joined 43T ~ finally… things have become totally unbearable in this situation and it has/is ending…and not so well because this person is lashing out and saying a lot of things that are NOT TRUE and PERSONALLY ATTACKING ME/Mine ~ I do not know how to respond and thus have not yet responded.

As I read my former post from last year, I could see the beginning of the end of this relationship ~ I’m trying to cover my ass and ‘end well’.... I know I cannot control the other person’s actions, but I can control mine. I will remain “Impeccable with my Word” ~ and present any evidence necessary to clear my name and maintain my dignity.

My Earlier Post ~

Should I Stay or Should I Go????? Part 2
Jul 15, 2010, 05:26PM PDT

Solution:

I am redefining this relationship to strictly professional and business, and recognize that this is not a friendship. I will give to the mutual projects that we work on as far as is comfortable, equitable, and beneficial to me and/or those we are working with, but I decide what that looks like, and I am not afraid to express myself and use my voice in a positive and affirmative way.

I could see it then….When this relationship is over ~ I will end it well and with gratitude. It’s not time yet, but understand that this time will come, and I will be prepared.

“People are more influenced by how much you care than how much you know.”
- Anonymous

I think this is very true, and my “business” colleague would do well if he understood this, but, I do not think this is something he will learn in this lifetime ~
I am ever more convinced of this statement that I made more than one year earlier….

Dear 43T Friends,
Please send your good positive energy to my side of the earth ~ I know I will be okay and that when all settles….it will end “well”. I am just perplexed by what assholes some people can be….and why.

Namaste & Gratitude ~

hg

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values.

Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ~

I needed to read this again…right now!

Lately.. I’ve been settling for less in my life than I deserve, I haven’t been clear on what I wanted or needed from others, I haven’t been speaking my truth because I knew it was going to create tension and conflict, and I haven’t been ‘in harmony’ for some time…

I have to make some choices right now and I need and want to reflect to make sure I am clear in myself that I am clear on what I want right now and that I’m not making choices that are based on what others ‘believe’ or ‘want’.... it’s time for me to stand up and own my power again…. I don’t know how I let go of it a little bit ~ it was a subtle hijacking… unconscious as such…

but, I do trust in the process & I believe we are all here to teach and learn…I think there’s been a lot of that going on….

life is hard, but good

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values…. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”

And working hard to achieve goals that are mutually beneficial and make the world a better place ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
(my addition for my self)

Barbara De Angelis

(Thnx Artemis via FB – wanted to save it here under my goal! Speaking my heart here….)

Reflection & Processing ~

Thank you to everyone who responded and supported my previous post. I really value your input, ideas, and mostly (of course) your sincere caring and friendship!

(S. you are right it’s about values & perceptions)

Here are a few things that popped out for me:

I am seeing the issue clearly, and I basically know the answer.

In this situation, I am holding the cards, although this person does have some ‘power/influence/input’ into other parts of my life.
So, I do not want to burn bridges or cut off my nose to spite my face.

Things have been off-balance, but I have given “freely” ~ my time is valuable, and I need to give it to people and projects that bring mutuality and goodness.

I can define, redefine, and set boundaries accordingly ~ I deserve to live in a way that I choose.

This is an issue of values ~ this person does not value friendship and caring in the same way that I do. This has been evidenced over the course of several years, where I have overlooked more than a few offenses, smoothed out situations for the betterment of this person and others, and basically stood by the person when many other people did not.

Is the friendship worth it? Great Question ~ I think there is no friendship really. That was my mistake, I wanted there to be friendship, but really…it is not. So, that is my bad! I think that is where the redefining comes in ~ very helpful.

Solution:

I am redefining this relationship to strictly professional and business, and recognize that this is not a friendship. I will give to the mutual projects that we work on as far as is comfortable, equitable, and beneficial to me and/or those we are working with, but I decide what that looks like, and I am not afraid to express myself and use my voice in a positive and affirmative way.

When this relationship is over ~ I will end it well and with gratitude. It’s not time yet, but understand that this time will come, and I will be prepared.

Thank you friends ~ I saw a quote recently on the side bar:

“People are more influenced by how much you care than how much you know.”
- Anonymous

I think this is very true, and my “business” colleague would do well if he understood this, but, I do not think this is something he will learn in this lifetime….

;)

Namaste Friends ~

hg

I believe in ending well….. :)

Should I Stay or Should I Go?????

I’m not sure if this goes here, but for some reason, it feels as if it does, because it feels as if I am not being honest with myself.

I have someone in my life and I can’t decide if I want to keep this person in my “circle” or not. I keep telling myself “don’t take things personally” ~ “It’s just the way he is”...

BUT….

I think the truth is, this person is a jerk, and he doesn’t really care about me as person, but only what I can do for him. When I make him look good, it’s all good, but when it comes to really caring ~ he doesn’t. He cares when it benefits him and otherwise, he does not extend the effort.

I’ve been really patient with this person, I’ve helped this person, and he has helped me as well when it also benefited him (and I’m good with that too), but today I’m asking myself seriously….is it time to part ways….

“Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
~ Winston Churchill