learn to talk as flatly as Ben Stein

OK, see, my boyfriend and I are being nuts and reading Eragon to each other because we think it’s a pretty awful book. Yeah, I know that’s strange, but it’s fun. Anyway, I read this review on Amazon that said “This story is basically a giagantic [sic] marble palace with entirely wooden floors and Ben Stein as every one of the characters except Angela.” So…I’m trying to sound that dull, but I’m just not quite on that level and the closest I can get is something with rather awkward rhythm like early text-to-speech software. Likely, I’ll never reach that level of dullness, but I’m still trying, I’m afraid. ;p