overcome my aversion to phones

i actually use the phone with frequency now. i credit this development to my boyfriend.

i still occasionally get the swooping feeling in my stomach when it rings, though.

did you know that feeling [like on roller coasters or hills] is caused because your internal organs are moving at a different speed than the rest of your body?

yeah, gross.

Interesting.

I’m sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring.

HAVE I DONE IT?

[Given that if the phone rings, I probably wont answer it, that’s a no.]

Aw.

I am starting to think this will never be accomplished.

That, and it’s really hard to make phone soup.

Too bitter. Needs seasoning and courage. Cliches not welcome, yet always there.

Much like that damn herb Cilantro.

I’ve progressed to text messaging. I mean, technically, that’s on a phone, right?

Yeah, ok, I know I’m a miserable cheater.

I’m still looking into that “Smash up the world’s phones and make a delightful phone soup out of them,” however.

I hate phones. I want to smash all of the world’s phones and make a delightful phone soup out of them. Then I’d feed it to assorted people who wont stop calling me, and when they’d say, “What is this delightful soup made out of?” I would reply, “PHONES.”

And then I’d run away before they could think of a response.

Then I would hire someone to run messages back and forth to whoever I’d like to talk to.

Or maybe I’d just be a hermit.