find a husband

I’m an idiot for thinking we could ever be more than friends…now my heart is broken and I hate him.

Not sure, for sure if he’s my husband…but he’s been my friend for 11 years, a really good friend for about 6 years and as of Saturday, he’s my boyfriend. I’ve liked him forever too, after him turning me down a couple times, I learned that I need to have him as a friend more than a boyfriend, but he’s finally figured out what he’s been missing, and it was really good that he made me wait for him.

I have not been this happy in a long time…

I don’t know if it’s because I was just at my brother’s wedding and saw everyone we used to hang out with in high school…who are now married or have babies or both…but my desire to be a wife and mom is stronger than ever right now. I don’t know how to describe it other than, I feel like my heart has swelled being around all the babies…I wanted to take one home…

Anyway, I’m probably just crazy. I mean, I’m just starting college after 5 years…full time, no breaks unil I graduate in 3 years…and I still have to work part time…do I even have time for a relationship? I am crazy…but my goal is to find my husband by the time I graduate.