marry my best friend

My best friend and I are now taking things one step closer to a intimate relationship..we know each other better than anyone…and the next step has been great…i’m talking myself into believing this is more than friends with benefits…crazy or closer to what I want?? that is the big questions..for today i don’t care I am just enjoying it..

well looks as if the only way this will happen is when i get a new best friend and let go of the old one….so i prayed and am letting go…..met someone will he be my best friend???

but he aint in…she is not good to him and he is seeing it..i spent all night showing him what good to him means..the only problem is I get nothing other than pure satisfaction that he is alright…and i love him that much that it was good enough…he is today and always the most handsome, special, kind, loving, generous man I have met outside of my dad…i love him i give in and i cannot deny…i will try to go on and date knowing i love him. he described what he wanted and i am it and sitting right beside him but he can’t see i am all those things and more..i respect him, i love him for who he is and who he is becoming, i know him inside and out, i study him, i want him to love me, we have passion, we have love, we have good everything…i prayed the whole way from Nashville that God would open his eyes and see i am what he wants and needs…
God please help….

she come back and i am only a memory in his mind…16 years of following him around..i did have a few relationships and marriages but couldn’t get him out of my mind and heart…spent the last three getting him through struggles and then the last few months getting him thru her leaving, coming back, leaving, and now back confessing undying love….and all i get is a stupid text message after 3 weeks of not seeing him..it went from daily contact, talks, dinner, to a f’ing text message…i am a fool for allowing this to happen….

i love him so much..i was at a meeting today and he was talking…all i could think about was how handsome i think he is..i have always thought he was so handsome..so when we left the meeting i told him again and i said sometimes i think i will look at you and not think you are handsome but it just hasnt happened…he laugh and didn’t know what to say but it is true…i can’t believe i still love him….it has to be God cuz it is not me…the feelings have caused me so much hurt sometimes i would quit if it was possible…..

i am so tired of waiting…it has been 16 years since i fell in love with this man and continued to love him more and more..it is not going anywhere so far….we have progress very slowly…i am not waiting if it happens it does if not it wont..i am going to date again….

the kids are great…the one talked about praying for god to come into her heart…she is just 5 and it was so sweet..we played and he stayed pissed about the dumb girlfriend…who knows but one day i will read these to him…

i called him to check on him on wednesday…his girlfriend is a real witch..and he called me last night. we hung out and it just keeps getting more comfortable for the both of us…i am so much more open with him and less afraid of the hurt it could cause…i am so honest that now he is my best friend not just me being his…It’s funny how he thinks he cares for her but holds my hands calls me his best friend and says he is most comfortable with me…he’s not getting anything out of it so it that is not the deal….i see this turning around quickly..we were sharing goals and they are so similar about life etc….well only time will tell but the last few nights made me realize my cousins discernment was right..

I told my friend about being in love with my best friend. Then she heard his music. immediately she got a discernment and said i will be with him before the year is up..she said she gets the discernment and it happens..i believe her and it will come to pass….

Well i seen him tonight…first time in a month and nothing changes if nothing changes…i continues to amaze me at the fact that when i am with him i am sooo comfortable…its like nothing in the world matters…i love him and long for him to love me in the same way rather than just friends…dont
he know best friends make the best life partners…..