invest more in my interests

signed up for art courses

getting interested in concerts

and my Bible study group

and church

it’s definitely important

and investing time in family

because frivolous things fall out from under you in an instant, but concrete family, friends and something like art, poetry, reading, swimming, jogging, volunteering, church are things that never fail, they will be with me forever.

as Matthew 7:26 says:

26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.

I have always been fascinated with Wizard of Oz. Leaving all you know to experience Something Different. Something Strange. I really need to get out of my town, out of my routine, out of work, school and yes out of everything I have known. I want to go as far as I can and never once look back. This is living free. Sigh, I will settle for going to a rural area and spending the weekend sight-seeing, driving and chilling in a lavish hotel room with hot tub. Tee-hee. Everyone needs a goal. This is my ultimate goal.

I was a-thinking the other day. I work hard to rest, I work hard to pay my way through school, to pay groceries, gas, car repair and the occasional item-for-self, I work to pay for movies. However, once I attain all these things, what is it that I really want to do? I help the less fortunate with donation and sponsorship, I fulfill my duty as an outstanding citizen that voted for the correct candidate, I even do the speed limit on occasion. However, I feel true fulfillment is in living and that doesn’t mean living in one place. I feel traveling adds a dimension to your life that you simply are unable to experience staying in some drab small town. I thirst for the open road, open sky, and open ocean. I want to see what I haven’t seen. The world is God’s greatest creation, why would you not travel until you see every last square inch? :)

Stress. School. Stress. Work. Stress. Home. Stress.
I let stress take over my life. It’s all in my mind, I am going to control the stress, not let it control me.
Stress leads to depression and my ‘Woa is me’ attitude where I expect people to care. And, when they don’t, I feel worse.
So, the experience is like being flushed down a toilet.
Anyways, I’m going out and doing more of what I want. Horray. I’m not giving up. Plus, this de-stressful week has made me open up to taking better care of myself and just reconnecting with reading various books such as mi biblia.

I made a list of my interests because everything I’m interested in is unconscious and I don’t really care about my interests, I just pay attention to what needs to get done and ignore myself most of the time. Hmm.
So, I could buy music—I want to purchase songs for my mp3 player, but that costs money. Hmm, I could go to a raggaeton concert sometime, but again; $money$ I don’t have.
Then, I remembered I get in free to events on campus, thus; New Orleans Jazz Orchestra (http://www.gmu.edu/cfa/calendar/eventlisting.php?event_id=26) and now I am investing in my interests on December 12th at 8p. This is what Non-Depression is made of; Plans and following what You want to do.

Sunday I was distracted in church thinking about visiting the stream where I would float flowers…I can’t believe it’s been a year. I’m kind of afraid to go back. I really feel like I need to go.
Things have gotten so stressful these past two months with school. I’m not sure why, I’m only p/t working and p/t going to school. I need a break from_thislife

I want to go to a concert but the tickets are expensive. I need to look for inexpensive local artists. There is a nice restaurant that has pretty awesome music. However, at this point I need something so inexpensive it’s free :)
I think I will focus again on drawing on small pieces of paper :) I like these simple projects that keep me reminded that I love art.

This past week I have been studying about 3-4 hours a day. I have been extremely dedicated and focused. I amazed myself. I deserved Saturday and Sunday off, to relax. Now, I need to study harder than ever. I am even more motivated to get good grades in order to make it into Nursing school and also because I’m having 8 months off school Dec-Aug, during which I may go to Honduras. Passport is coming in the mail in the next week :D Life is quite the journey, never could have guessed I would be so blessed. I am so greatful for my opportunities, can’t waste this chance to make a life, to do great, and ultimately reach others and help them see that life isn’t just a series of tragedies until you too die. Life can be much more.

Tomorrow I am going to the store and indulge in some crafts. This keeps my mind active. I love to create things. Lately I haven’t been able to draw much inspiration. I trust my inspiration is back ordered and will arrive any minute now…

I am depressed quite a bit. Sometimes the depression is inevitable and comes every once in a while and is rarely severe or otherwise interfering into my life. Lately I’ve decided to enhance what makes me happy. In the software ‘Microsoft Office OneNote 2007’ I am able to organize these interests. (check OneNote out here: http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/onenote/default.aspx )
Some of my interests I will focus more on are: Art, Reading, Church, Socializing, being outdoors, and long term interest of traveling or otherwise somehow getting back to North Carolina.