not let the little things get to me

Not letting the little things get to me is a constant battle but I’m still trying to fight the good fight… I can’t help but wonder if my heart is made of glass; the smallest things seem to chip away at it.

This week has been especially trying at work, and I’ll be going home this weekend; we’ll see how well I do.

I went home this weekend and stayed with my family at the house where I haven’t lived for five years. I do enjoy spending time with my mom, dad, and sister, but it’s difficult to not be bothered by how much I don’t fit in to their world now. Additionally, my parents pay much more attention to my sister and treat her very differently-granted she’s a different child and we have a very different situations. But little things, like my mom making a huge deal over how my sister can’t start projects because she has writer’s block (something I have struggled with forever but when I lived at home, I was accused of being lazy and procrastinating and was provided with no support) really get to me.

I was having a good evening, enjoying being out with her until she started talking about this. I started thinking about all the times I was frustrated to tears and she ignored me or criticized me while now she lavishes so much attention on my sister and was unable to enjoy the rest of the night with her.

It’s little things like this that can ruin my day, change my mood, and question myself constantly. This will not be a simple change as I have thought like this for a long time-changing cognitive behavior is not as easy as popping a pill, but I need to make this a part of my daily behavior because all the little things are eating me up and wasting my valuable time and energy.