Learn how to make myself happy.

I think I have learned a lot of things that make me happy. Yoga is a huge thing that helps with this. I also notice I feel so much happier when I express my feelings and don’t keep things I need to say bottled up inside. But, I’m afraid to mark this off the list quite yet.

I think I’ve broken the habit of calling other people when I’m feeling bad. I found out some upsetting information a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t call any of my friends to tell them or to get their input or advice. I’m proud of myself for that!

I think that when I care about myself more it will be easier to make myself happy!

Part of making myself happy is sticking up for myself and not letting other people walk all over me. And, another part of making myself happy is trusting my gut and making decisions for myself and not to make other people happy.

It’s sounds stupidly obvious but I think just learning to focus on me will help with this. A few weeks ago I went to a concert with some friends. There were a few people invited to go and some were backing out and others were iffy. One of the iffy ones was someone I was really looking forward to seeing. My typical action would have been to get all worked up about who was or wasn’t going and who I was disappointed to not see or disappointed to have to spend the evening with. So…. I made a concscious decision before I left to focus on what the evening was REALLY about. For me I REALLY wanted to hear this AWESOME band and I had at least one friend to go with so I wouldn’t be stuck not going because I had no one to go with. I decided to focus on the band and the great music and being there and having a good time. I forgot about everyone else and decided not worry about who did and didn’t show. I ended up having a great evening. I think I need to make an effort to focus on me more and not worry so much about everyone else and what they are doing and thinking and feeling.

I went to a music festival last weekend. It was perfect. The weather was great, the music was great. Yet I didn’t have a great time because I wasn’t with someone I really wanted to be with. I should have been able to enjoy myself just because it was the perfect scenario for having a good time. Why should it matter who I’m with? It’s not as if I was with someone I hated or anything. Me having a good time shouldn’t depend on other people. But, I don’t know how to change my thinking.

I’ve not had a very happy week but I’ve tried really hard to deal with it myself. I’ve tried to do things alone that I think will make me feel better like swim, yoga and work on my house. I haven’t called any friends to cry on their shoulders which I’m proud of.

I’m not doing so well with this one today. I’ve had a REALLY bad day. I ended up trying to call several friends because I really needed to talk. No one answered the phone and then I just started feeling even more sorry for myself! Why do I feel like every time I have a problem I have to share it with someone else and get their approval on how I should handle it??

I think I depend too much on others to make me feel happy. As soon as I have a big problem the first thing I want to do is pick up the phone and call a friend. I have stopped doing that lately but I just end up becoming more unhappy because I start feeling sorry for myself because I don’t have any friends who I can talk my problems out with unconditionally. I think most of my friends see my problems as trivial because I am not on the same life path as them. But ultimately the thing I care about most in my life is the people and friends who are a part of it so when things go wrong in this area it also causes me the most upset. Sometimes I think I should care less about people. I start to think most people just take advantage of those of us that are generally nice, caring and easy going.