be more outgoing

I am finding it easier to speak to cashiers and other people in public places when I’m doing errands or out and about. I think this is a good start!

I’ve been speaking to strangers more when I am out doing errands and I have been making an effort to befriend people in situations I would normally not be comfortable with. Basically, I am just trying not to be afraid to talk to people I don’t know.

I have been talking to people in my yoga class before and after class. One of the girls in my class I saw at a movie the other night and we were talking about that. I also asked another girl about a class she is taking. I have just been trying really hard to make casual conversation with people I know (but not that well) when I see them out and about. It seems like I have been seeing a lot of aquaintances lately so I have been trying to take advantage of the opportunity to speak up when normally maybe I would have sat back and not spoken unless someone else spoke to me first.

I ran into an old friend a week ago. He gave me his phone number and told me to call him to hang out. I keep putting it off and thinking of reasons why I should wait. I know I should call him. I wish I wasn’t such a chicken. I keep thinking maybe he was just being nice and doesn’t really want me to call him.

Today after yoga class I heard these 2 girls talking about something I was interested in so I chimed in and asked a question and started talking to them. I didn’t really know them at all and normally would have never done something like that so I was kind of proud of myself.

Today some guy in line in front of me at the store was short 87 cents. I didn’t have any change so I paid for the 87 cents with a 10. That was pretty outgoing for me and the guy was kind of cute too. Maybe my good deed will come back to me! : )

I have been invited to a party at a neighbor’s house this week. I recently moved so I will probably know no one there. I really don’t want to go. The thought of it makes me so nervous. It would be much easier to just stay home. But, I’m thinking about forcing myself to go even though I don’t want to. I have to RSVP. I wish I could just wait and decide at the last minute.

I think I had a huge epiphany the other night. I am a person who is almost too nice for my own good. I think I care about other people’s happiness more than my own. I think my shyness is somewhat of a defense against this because I know if I get too involved with the wrong person I will be taken advantage of and walked all over. Sometimes I think my own best friend takes advantage of my non assertive, extra nice personality.

Sometimes I like my shyness. I feel like when someone is willing to break through my shyness and really get to know me then they are worth the effort of friendship because they have put in an effort to get to know me. But, I guess it’s really not good because I think I need some more friends in my life.

I’m very picky about who I spend my time with. I would much rather have a few very close friends than a ton of friends that aren’t as good. I’m also very shy. My closest friends are people I have known for a long time. Unfortunately, they seem to be heading down different paths in life than I am and they have not been very good friends lately. I need to make some friends who have more in common with me. But, this is difficult being so shy. I also feel like most people I meet have very little in common with me but this probably isn’t really true if I would just take the chance on getting to know people better. Most of the time I feel like an observer watching people from the outside. I need to learn to get involved!