express my feelings & thoughts better

Nonviolent Communication By Marshall B. Rosenberg is a book that is helping me with this. It teaches you how to express your feelings and needs in a reasonable way. I expressed my feelings with a friend the other day. It wasn’t something she wanted to hear and she is mad at me now. But, I chose my words wisely and I don’t regret what I said. So, I am going to try to be at peace with myself about the situation. If she wants to be mad or feel anger about it that is her choice but I don’t have to take it on.

Yesterday I told a friend thank you for something he did for me. It was one of those times where I was tempted to hold back but I knew I should do it so I did. I’m glad I did it. It led to a nice conversation. I saw a friend on Saturday that I hadn’t see in a long time. For some reason I had this urge the whole time we were together to just give him a big hug. I’m not the hugging type so it was weird. I didn’t do it and I regret it. Even though I regret it I don’t know if I would have the courage to do it if I had the opportunity again.

I’ve been having a bad day and I just got a text from a friend saying he was thankful to have me in his life. It was just one of those silly forward things which I usually delete. But, today it made me feel better. I decided if it made me feel better maybe it wold make someone else feel better. So, I decided to forward it to 4 of my very closest friends. One person I forwarded it to I felt weird about sending it to but it was true and I wanted to tell him! So I did!

I did this yesterday. It is getting better for me with certain people. I just don’t think I can NOT do this anymore. I can’t live that way anymore. Especially with people I really care about.

I wrote my mom an email and told her how I feel about some stuff that has been going on and she completely ignored me! It’s really hard when you tell people how you feel and they completely act as if you never even said it!

I have a friend I need to talk to and I’m scared. She never comes to visit me. I always have to go visit her. She was supposed to come see me last weekend and she didn’t because of the high price of gas. She told me to come see her instead and I did. She is my best friend and we had a great time but it hurts my feelings that she never comes here. I really need to talk to her and let her know how I feel but I dread it so much.

The past couple of weeks I think I have been pushing back a lot of feelings and it is all coming out in my neck! I have had a HORRIBLE crick on my neck for 3 weeks. I feel like that is where every ounce of stress in my body has gone. It is just becoming so apparent to me that I HAVE to change the way I interact with people and express myself. I can’t continue on the path I am on anymore. Things like this horrible pain in my neck are just a huge wake up call that I have to change NOW because it is all taking such a toll on me…especially physically.

I feel like I am doing a lot better with this but I still have a LONG way to go! It is easier with some people than others.

I have made a goal to talk to 2 people this week that I really need to talk to and let know how I’m feeling about some things. In both of these situations I have not taken advantage of opportunities I have had, I have put it off, I have worried about it and second guessed myself and done everything but actually express how I feel. But I have to do this! It will be a big step for me. If I do this I will be NO where near being able to mark this goal completed but it will be a good start. I hope I’m brave enough and strong enough to follow through.

I have spent so much time worrying about what to say and how to say it and what their response will be and how I will handle it. My mind just goes and goes until it’s out of control. That is why I KNOW I have to do this. I can’t keep driving myself crazy thinking about this and worrying about it and having imaginary conversations in my head with these people!

I’ve been having a rough time lately and it gets really tiresome always putting on a happy face and trying to pretend everything is OK. I feel like there is so much pressure in society to always be happy and appear happy. This causes me to keep my feelings to myself a lot. Monday I shared what’s been going on with me and how I really feel with someone I work very closely with. Wow! I didn’t realize what a relief it would be! It is so nice to know that if I’m having a rough day or not always smiling she understands why and I don’t have to put on a front.