be strong

My grandma is doing well. I was able to get over the fact that we hired a woman to take care of her (even though I spent almost an entire day crying) and the two of them get along well. She cooks and cleans and looks after my grandma in a caring way. So I guess I was strong there and let myself be convinced and not freak out.

My nephew is ill again. He has been running high temperature for days now, he has strong bronchitis, and hasn’t been out of the house for days. I went to see him yesterday and he is so skinny now :(
All this after he was kicked out of kindergarten for rumbling some cubes and shapes and opening cupboards while all the other kids were playing quietly.
I guess I was strong – not going there and punching someone in the face for being so mean to him and for being completely unprofessional. I am still angry at the fact that they do still take care of numerous other kids while clearly they shouldn’t, but I resisted my urges to protect the child I love (he didn’t need an crazy aunt in this situation).

My mum went to the doctor today. She needs to go again with new MRI test results and I’m at work.
I’m not crying, I’m not screaming, I’m working. I didn’t throw the stapler at my idiot boss today. I guess that’s being strong.

Can’t say I’m a fan.

She’s home.
I’m so relieved! I know it will be a struggle for my mom mostly, because right now gran can’t take care of herself, but we’ll all help and make their days as enjoyable as we can. Can’t wait to finish work and go see her…

My grandma is coming home from the hospital tomorrow, but the way they treated her on the recovery ward in the hospital has weakened her so much I am hoping she makes it through the night tonight. We (my sister and me) will probably be writing a lot of compaint letters in the next few days. If someone gets fired (not very likely) on accout of our complaints, so be it, they are not fit to be helping people.
Hoping that sweet, dear, kind, fragile woman comes home safely tomorrow. Nothing else matters now.

Led skies again…
The surgery went well, but she’s still too drowsy, even today.
The doctor said they fear for her lungs and heart.
I can’t do this.

My anger has passed somewhat, now I’m just feeling scared, so much so I can hardly breathe or swallow.
My gran is in surgery today (perhaps as I am writing this) and I feel so helpless…I wish I could be there and hold her hand.
I hope to the skies she pulles through.
I hope,
I hope,
I hope,
but not much I can do.

After work Ziggy and I went to my grandma’s house to clean the car, when my Mom rang me and told me my dear sweet old grandma had just broken her hip. We rushed back to town and found the ambulance parked outside of their building. They were just about leaving and we took my mom and my sister to the e.r.
They took my grandma in immediately, measured her blood pressure, checked her lungs and her heart, did an X-ray and said we need to go take her nightgown and underwear as they were keeping her in to have a surgery on Wednesday. All of this lasted almost two hours.
We returned to the hospital, straight to the surgery ward, and we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
For over an hour and a half. Then my sister and I went back to the e.r. and found her lying on the same bed, scared out of her mind, tired, in pain, and needing to pee badly. They had forgotten about her.
My sister asked one of the doctors why grandma wasn’t taken to the ward and she (very casually) replied that another specialist needed to take a look at her.
Out of nowhere a male nurse appeared and wheeled my grandma off to the ward. The doctor didn’t notice this because she was waaay to busy texting someone and being all cute and perky.

This goal is about being strong and stop wanting to spray poison gas all over the staff in that hospital and watching them suffer, just like they watched a sweet, 93year old woman suffer, just like they do every day. I know it’s not very nice of me, but I am as angry at the spoiled little daddy’s girls and boys that come there and play doctors as I am afraid for my grandma.

I came to work as usually.My boss came in and we prepared the cash for me to take to the bank-he counted it, I double-checked, wrote the specification, entered all the serial numbers for US dollars and went to the bank.The clerk and I chatted, she took the Euros and then the dollars and started counting, made a face and told me one 100USD note was forged! Crap! To cut this long story short, 3 100USD notes were forged. I was shocked. The clerk made a formal record which we both signed and I just had to wait for a minute or two for her to get the signature from her supervisor.She went to get it and came back with a really long face telling me they had rang the police and that I had to wait for them to come to the bank to question me! GASP!!
Anyway, two inspectors came and questioned the clerk while I waited.
Then they turned to me and said: just be calm, and come with us to the station. WTF????
They took me in their car on a 45seconds drive, all the time acting very serious and formal. We came to the station, they sat me down like a criminal in a dark room with no windows and started asking really moronic questions. Nothing really important. Morons.
They let me go and I went on with my day feeling like a complete idiot. I didn’t get to hear their names. I didn’t get any record of the “conversation” at the police station. I felt stupid and guilty (although I knew I wasn’t). Now I can expect their call which may or may not come.
This goal is about being strong in these kind of situations and not feel stupid and down just because their methods are medieval.