figure out what i want to do with my life

Does figuring out that I should shy away from making a 5-year-plan and just going along with life as it happens a good plan? I think it is. It reflects my new attitude and is more liable to leave me open to possibilities.

the more confused I get. Seven months ago, I had a plan. I knew what was going to happen for the next 3 years. I have ALWAYS had a 3-5 year plan. I mean, it changes and stuff but I always had some kind of plan. And now it seems like the plan has just poofed into a cloud of pixie dust.

I’m currently at design school and I love it. I absolutely love it. I’ve never worked so hard before in my life. I never wanted it so much before in my life. I constantly question myself whether I have what it takes and whether I can truly learn to be a good designer. I am challenging myself over and over again as well as trying to keep myself healthy in all aspects.

I just feel lost because I no longer have a plan. And I’m not the type of person who can just live day by day without an ultimate goal somewhere in the future. And I don’t mean “I want a house in 20 years” kind of future, I mean it has to be a future within sight…a goal to GET me to that bigger goal (like the mansion and convertibles or something).

I want to do it with happiness, enthusiasm, and confidence!

I figured out that taking care of myself is first and foremost the key because if I’m sick and miserable, I can’t help anyone else either, nor can I do what I want.

On the other side of it, provided I feel up and cheery, I really want to explore the world – learn as much as I can – for fun. I’d like to just travel, to look, to experience. I want to be able to share my stories, to express my thoughts, through art. I’d like to try different ventures. My current one is a e-store called Late for Work. We’re based in Hawaii and we’ve already done 2 craft fairs. :D

volunteering.

I think it’ll somehow involve helping others in some way. Whatever it is – affecting others, influencing others, encouraging others, who knows? But something along that line :).

I think, by now, I should have realised that what makes me most excited and giddy is trying new things, especially doing new things like traveling abroad and living or working there. I’m a gal of no routine…I like everyday routine in an organised way but not in a life way where I do the same work and go the same places. I know, it sounds contradictory…

But I think whatever I end up doing or wanting to do, it’ll involve moving to a lot of different places! :)

When I was younger, I used to think that one day, I wanted to be someone who really caused something – like a super well-known activist or something. Someone as famous as Susan B Anthony or Eve Ensler. That sort of idea.

Now, I just know I’ll be content to make a difference in what small (or large) way I can. I’ll just try my best.

I know what I’m doing and where I’m headed for the next 2-3 years. After that, I’m reasonably sure I’ll be finding a “real job” but I can also picture myself eventually going to grad school, perhaps in London or somewhere on the east coast of the US. :) I see myself spending summers teaching abroad if I can. Maybe a stint in the peace corps (but I doubt this one as I don’t like the 2 year commitment thing).

The sky’s the limit!

Well I’m very certain of what and where I want to go for the next 3 years!

I’m going to graduate my current university by December and then head on to art school in San Francisco California for a year (my dream come true, seriously). After that, I’m getting a teaching degree (teaching English overseas – not in America) in Europe and before I actually go off to teach, I want to work for a few months in Europe (maybe Greece or Scotland, maybe England). After about 6 months, plus a month or so of traveling, I am heading to China to teach English for maybe a year. :) Also planning to Asia-hop in that time or after. That takes up a good 3 years nearly. :D If I can fit in a nice internship somewhere that’s related to my future career, it’d be the cinch.

And I’ve never felt so good about my future before.

the more I travel, the more I know. And even though I don’t know for SURE, I feel pretty confident. And I actually think that being confident is more important than being able to name that particular thing.