live passionately

“To venture causes anxiety. Not to venture is to lose oneself.”
- Kierkegaard

I don’t know how right Kierkegaard is but it’s interesting – and even though anxiety is never fun, we can take opportunities to overcome them. Passion will always be wrapped up in an abundance of other emotions – it’s not cold and rational.

planning projects for myself.

I think I’m crazy because I have enough (more and more than enough projects for school that I am scrambling to do). However, personal projects fill me with glee and excitement. Not that I don’t love my schoolwork – it’s okay and I love what I learn but it’s still a necessity to do, whereas doing personal projects are fun and self-imposed. They’re self-designed and I can do anything I want! :D

I’m going to decorate my new room with ribbons on one closet door (huge expanses of mirrors freak me out at night) and then on one tiny wall will be my “vision wall/board” which is another goal of mine here. It will contain images and text of my goals and dreams (short and long term). It’ll be for more “serious” goals though. It’ll also contain my personal “manifesto” type of thing – more of a life vision than actual singular goals (maybe the major ones).

And then I am planning to finish writing thank you cards, and then send random cards with cool photoshop images I make to people! :D I also want to give random cards to my friends too. They’ll probably think I’m weird but whatever.

is a passion of mine. But to live passionately? Whoo. That’s a tall order to fill! I am trying to fill my life with things that I feel fulfill me as a person and also things that I can learn to make myself better and more knowledgeable. I am always striving to improve myself and change myself for the better (not for others).

I am currently studying design so I think my days are filled with creativity. However, in the midst of all this artistic work, I think I need to branch out. I’m trying to exploit more of this city I’m in by taking advantage of all the free events they hold. There’s always something every month. I’m also beginning to keep track of the plays/musicals/concerts that crop up. That’s another passion (theatre) so I should indulge myself in it.

in a stale sort of rut right now. I’m desperately trying to get out of it. I’ve been in this new city about 3 months (almost 4) and I haven’t seen much of it. I feel so stupid about that because I’m usually the person who can’t wait to get out of the hotel/hostel room and explore! So I am making strides to really start exploring, even if I’m not fully interested at heart – I will be when I just start to delve into more activities.

I recently went to a tourist info station and grabbed all the theatre fliers as well as the to-do pamphlets. I’m going to make lists of upcoming events and post ‘em on the wall to constantly remind myself of fun things to do and that I need to get out and do ‘em. I’m focusing so hard on school right now. That’s a good thing but I need to find time for me too and my environment!

My passion is art and creation. It is in design. It is in learning exciting things. All these are adventures in themselves.

I’m going to art school now. Finally. A dream after over 4 years of toil at a regular university. And this is very drudge-like. I feel like I have no life and that I’m back to square one. I know I’m not and that I’m moving ahead but it doesn’t feel like it. I’ve barely explored my new city and I feel so stupid that I haven’t. >.<

It feels like there’s a lot of hard work before passion arrives. Or maybe I just need to learn the art of living passion in everyday life.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I think that living with regret is a horrible and damning feeling. It doesn’t leave. It stays with you, bugging you. It asks “What if?” and that’s a HORRIBLE question. You can’t shake it loose because you have no answer for it.

So I don’t want to live with regret. And I want to live with passion, throw myself into everything, not just do things for the sake of them.