live my dreams instead of dreaming my life

and I’m so afraid that I’m living it so intensely that I’m not allowing myself some fun. My dream is to study at FIDM and I’m doing that now – but the projects are so time-consuming and effort-heavy that I have not much time to socialize. What time I do have ends up being at home, chilling.

So I want to really get off my butt and MAKE TIME to explore this grand city! :)

whether it’s on my list or not. It’s something I don’t intend on giving up. I don’t think that I’ll forget to live my dreams. At least, I hope not.

I have lived several big dreams of mine…great goals and I think that means so much. And having done them gives me so much more confidence that I will be able to live my other dreams as well. I’m currently living my dream of attending design school. And this will be for a little while more so I’ll be thinking up new dreams to have :D in the meantime.

I posted this in another goal too but this applies well:

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.”
- Anatole France

Some new events that have happened recently tells me that while I wish I could do this, a sense of obligation compels me to do otherwise. I feel like I have a sense of duty to my family to support them (financially – and if I can, in other ways as well). Yet, to do so requires settling down and finding a “good job,” one that’s career enhancing, versus my dreams of using a year or two to work overseas (which I can’t count on paying too well – well I can hope but still).

I just wish I didn’t have this decision.

When I was younger, I used to daydream a lot. I was trapped – as a kid, what financial or legal means do I have to do anything? And it’s not like I had a bad childhood – I was just very depressed and suicidal (thinking of it only). Daydreaming and reading was my way out – my escape from reality.

To this day, if I can’t sleep, I think about my dreams and I visualize me doing them and stuff. Happy thoughts :).

Well, 5 years ago, I took the first step out of my shell – and it gave me a lot of confidence. 3 years ago, I went on a study abroad program for 6 weeks and when I came back, knowing that I had accomplished a long-time dream of mine, as well as the new-found confidence, I was ready to tackle more of my dreams.

Now, I’ve accomplished 3 more dreams: I’ve studied abroad in London (which was my biggest dream of all), started my own business, and been accepted to my dream school, FIDM.

Now c’mon, what’s dream #5 going to be?! :D