have surgery

I was born with pulmonary atresia…lovely disease, really…I had a 12% chance of living, and yet I did, here I stand, alive…not well, but alive. I’ve already had 3 major open heart surgeries, and I get to do it again next June. I can’t make my bed without getting out of breath. I passed out on a date one time…then at a party…and again at school.
So, sure, the surgery when I was 8 days old gave me…5 years, the next one gave me 7…and that one gave me 7…but is it worth all the pain I go through in my life? I’m not sure…sometimes I wish the 88% chance would have won.