move out

I get fearful about the days leading to moving out. I worry that I won’t be able to take care of myself very well. It’s less to do with my visual impairment and more to do with how I am able (or unable) to solve most problems, little or big. I don’t even know what I’ll do about long-distance phone calls!

This…and I haven’t gone anywhere yet. However, I do feel it in my bones. I’ll be leaving soon enough. Hopefully this year. But I’m still nervous.

Just a little bleak right now. Everything is ABOVE my price range! I just want a bachelor’s apartment! That’s it!! I didn’t realise it would cost so much more than whatever piddly cheque I might receive!

sigh Sucks to be near poor. :P I need this. I can’t be in another house with ANOTHER family, after I want to have some alone time! :( Oy!!

For a long time I’ve been sitting at home with my family. They’re usually great! But they’re also usually…really hard to get along with at times. Sometimes certain ones aren’t as considerate, and some get walked over for being a certain gender (from both sides).

The noise is my greatest problem. It’s a distraction and a restriction to me. I can’t have peace and quiet because someone has the music up too loud; I can’t record my own music because talking, music below, etc., gets into my tracks and ruins a potentially good song. Also, there’s no time TO sing. Someone always has a remark, good or bad.

I don’t want to hear either!

My problem is that I’m scared to move. I have little money, I’m afraid of living TOO alone, not feeling secure, I worry about what my parents will do about my brothers, in which neither really do anything to help around the house. What am I saying? I don’t do much either. I don’t because I want them to help, too. I do sometimes, because Mom speaks in a guilty way.

Eh…there are more reasons, but I need to get my act together and get outta here!! ...Oh yeah, no good jobs. Big one.