Be myself

Sometimes I am afraid that just bieng myself isn’t good enough. What will people think when they see who I am? Will they think I am boring? wierd? maybe they will think I am nice and funny. I am tired of worrying what others will think- who cares? I just have to care about what I think about myself—and am I living up to my own expectations. I want to take a chance and show you who I am—whether you like it or not.

I guess this is a goal I will be working on for a while… Today was truly a special day and made me very happy. I went to a play with my mother, grandmother, and aunt (the musical 42nd Street). It was so fun and entertaining and the best part was spending it with my loved ones. For a while all my cares and worries left me. The feeling lasted all day, I felt renewed. Sometimes that is all it takes to feel “right” again.

Sometimes I wish it were that simple. Maybe it is. Right now I can choose to be grateful and appreciate all that I have and in return feel blessed. And maybe that in itself is some kind of happiness… I also think that we are expected to be happy all the time(especially as Americans)- but that is just not the case. To be human is to feel a wide range of emotions on a daily basis. No one is “happy” all the time. I feel what I feel and that is OK.

this can be a hard one for me…Somedays are better than others and some days I can be pretty mean to myself! I think I SHOULD be this or SHOULD be that, and if I was I would be a better person. Why can’t I appreciate and love who I am just the way I am? I know I am a good person and I want only good things for my life and for others so how do I accept myself unconditionally or is that impossible?