and it is self-image. There were a lot of bizarre things that happened to me as a kid that have tainted my self-image. I don’t hate myself, but I feel very self-conscious around others sometimes, especially when I feel “exposed.” I have really come a long way in the self-love department. I recognize my worth, my potential, and see how I’m a good person and that I’m just as worthy as anyone else of life… but on the other hand that self-consciousness kicks in and I start to feel bad.
I don’t blame my past, as I know those things are in the past and nothing will ever change them, but is there something I can do the shed the associations?
Ever since I turned this into a goal, self-defecating has become scarce. It’s as though I’ve unconsciously stopped being mean to myself, and I love it. I have more confidence than I did before, and I’m so glad. I will continue to work on this until there is no self-cruelty at all. The great thing is, I can actually see that day.
I’ve been so busy since I went back to school that I haven’t really had much time to be mean to myself, or slip into any self-pity moments. That is not only good news, but it’s progress. Even in the toughest of times, I’ve managed to keep my chin up, not to blame myself, or to hurt myself with unkindnesses. YAY ME!!!!!!!!
but it’s so much easier to see how far you’ve come when you can notice how much someone you’re talking to absolutely loathes themself. I used to feel like that, but I’ve changed. I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen head over heels for me, but hey, that’s next. But listening to someone sit and talk about how much they hate people, hate the world, hate leaving their house, going out, interacting… that is hating the self. It’s discomfort and uncertainty. Learning to love the self makes that discomfort and insecurity away. I believe seeing this outside the self is progress. hugs self
It feels strange to look yourself in the eye and say, “I love you.” I always think that my ‘way cool’ depressed and downer friends from high school will find out and tell me I’m not cool anymore. But I didn’t love me then, and I do love me now, so why do I let the worry of what people I don’t even know anymore stand in my way of free self-love?
I think that one of the reasons it’s most difficult to love myself is because I have expectations for me. It’s time to shed those expectations and love myself no matter what. I vow to start achieving this goal by telling myself RIGHT TO MY FACE at least once a day just how much I love me.