the situations one finds himself in….

as it is in my fridge…which means, the double cheeseburger I bought and left out in the truck at 4pm, is still just as fresh at 6am…right?

Oh sweet! I fogot bout them onion rings too!

Yay fo me :)

I found Jamie I found Jamie I found Jamie I found Jamie
(Hmm, I guess it doesn’t have the same effect when you can’t hear how I’m singing it in my head. Think…little kid singing I’ve got candy, and I’m sure it’ll sound pretty much like that. :P)

ok, so…...

When I was growing up, my best Friend in the world was a girl named Jamie. Me and this girl did everything together. We spent all day and half the night hanging out. We’ve got a million memories together. When we were about 14 she moved a couple cities over, and before long I moved an hour away. I literally haven’t seen or spoken to her in about 13 years. 13 YEARS. Fuck, am I really that old that I could have a friend who is so important to me and not seen them in that long? I’m only 27, fuck. But anyways, I found her. Tonight. About an hour ago. On a whim I typed her name into the search in Facebook. I do this every month or so, hoping that she will have finally caught up with the technology afforded us these days, usually to no avail. But not tonight. NOT TONIGHT! Nope. I put in her name, and sure as shit up came a profile (no picture of course,) but her name, with the location: Detroit. So I sent a message:

There is no way in hell there is more than one Jamie S living in Detroit. If there is, well, thats just bad luck.

There isn’t. In fact, there are none living in Detroit, because she’s living in Oklahoma now. But anyways so I sent her the message, and it was her.She accepted it in like two seconds, and before I knew it I was on the phone listening to a voice that I haven’t heard in over a decade. Man oh man,there are few things in life right now that could make me feel as ecstatic and happy as I am right now.

Wow.

Wow

Wow

WOW!

I FUCKING FOUND HER!!! 12 years looking, and I FINALLY FUCKING FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!!

with the Dream King

I am sooo stupid!!!!! EEEEGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ok, so, lat night I got outta work, and went to my brothers house who was watching the girls. I threw back a couple of much deserved beers, and in the process I let the cat out of the bag. I told him about how me n Soulmate girl (I gotta better knockname for her) are looking to move in together and all that.

Now granted, I would have to tell them eventually, sure, but come on! THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING??? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?? ARRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

When, oh when, will I ever, fucking, learn.

Dont say anything at all, right? Thats how it goes. Yeah, well, keeping to that rule has pretty much left me silent. Or maybe rendered me silent is a better way to say it. I should explain.

You guys remember girl #2? She still emails me a couple of times a day, and I don’t want to be insensitive so I reply, mostly just hey, how ya doin kinda thing. Today she sent me an email that said, well here, read for yourself:

_I’m really curious on something… How come you don’t talk to me as much as you do with Girl #1 And other people? It’s kind of unfair in some aspects… If you don’t won’t to talk to me just let me know. I don’t mean to sound like a Bitch or anything but I feel I need to finally say something. I feel like I’m getting walked all over by people And they are being shitty. So I’m standing up And saying something. You’re not the only one I’m saying something to ok?? It’s seems like I am a joke to everyone lately so I’m not too happy about it.
I still think you’re a really awesome guy. Yes, I still like you… But I guess sometimes taking chances isn’t going to happen. Blah._

Ok, so I’ve tried a few times to reply to this, and each time the reply has completely deteriorated into a scathing soul shattering tirade of anger. I gave myself a while to cool off, and tried again, and found that my use of adjectives had actually improved with time, and that that attempt at a reply would be more hurtful than the first attempt at a reply.

I settled for a simple:

Are you kidding me??

as I’ve found that that one little phrase when used with the proper inflection can have exactly the effect as is desired.

She’s replied back with a whole bunch of emails, mostly apologizing and giving excuses that blame everyone and everything (from her friends to her mom to the holidays) except herself.

But now I feel like a dick because I’m not responding, but I know if i respond it will not be pretty. Fun little fact most of you don’t know about me. When I’m pissed, I have the uncanny ability to convey that anger with the most perfectly worded responses that are constructed soley for the purpose of destroying the object they are designated for. i,e: When I go off on someone, it hurts. I know this, and I know this girl isn’t cut out to make it through that kind of tirade, and that she just bit off more than she could chew because she’s young and dumb and probably just wanted attention. I know these things, so I’m not letting my anger get the best of me and crush this poor girl. But I am pissed, and i want to vent. And so I have. Now I suppose I’ll just reply with some quasi upset sounding ‘diet anger’, that won’t soothe the savage beast insdie thats screaming OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!!, but I suppose I will feel better about it in the morning.

_{should I mention that I’m supercharged on caffeine right now?? nah!}

man oh man, I’m learning more and more about it everyday. Pretty amazing thing…

who shall remain nameless.

click here

Do it now.

_{This was stuck in my brain for weeks!}