Finish the writing I've started, make it something I can be proud of, and sell same (or try).

tonight. First time I’ve done any writing on that, except in my head, for months.

Yay!

jkd

Yay!

jkd

meat charts. It was the same problem I solved with the egg chart, but it’s more complex because of there being more discrete pieces to worry about.

He suggested that I get DH to do it as an Android app, which appeals to both DH & myself so that is likely what is going to happen. We need to buy the app tool kit, I need to finish making the “chart” and then DH can program the app.

Woo- hoo!

jkd

the idea/scope of what I want to do isn’t easy. The data compilation isn’t hard, it’s the other stuff, the charts. I did the egg one, and it took me hours and hours to try and figure out HOW to do what I did. That’s the problem, this stuff doesn’t exist in any kind of easy format, so no one has done this, and of course, what I thought would be easy, if I applied myself, is not, alas.

jkd

to finish all 3 books.

The kitchen book I was waiting on a reference, supposed to be published in September, then on some (unknown) date in December. I have the book, finally (ordered it in Feb?)

The memoir I just have to plow through. There’s approx 7 chapters start to finish and I’m finishing #4. Number 5 is something I’m avoiding, it’s the 1st 18 years of DH and me.

Number 6 is the PTSD diagnosis, the end of the shop, and the years of PTSD work and 43t (surprise!)

Number 7 is the past 2 years: family parts therapy, walking from my family (or not), the book, etc.

The novel? The novel’s beginning is done, the ending is done… I need to figure out how to write the middle. I may need to take some confrontation classes to do this! My inclination is to NOT fight, but run away. Makes it hard to know how to write about a fight.

The largest amount of writing needs to be done on the kitchen book. I was working on that this a.m. Most of the shopping charts need to be made too (and that’s going to be the REALLY hard part!)

My idea is so that I don’t burn out/scare myself/and then quit, that I’ll alternate writing/not writing. If i write for a week, then cull books for a week, and alternate, then both jobs, neither of which I really WANT to do, should get done.

jkd

Okay, my brother, the egghead scientist called last night. I got to the phone just as (whoever) hung up. Since I hadn’t sent the letter that said “Leave me alone!” and it was 10 at night, I called back, no answer, left a message.

About 10 minutes later, he calls back. Just as nice and sweet and caring as he could be. No intellectual egghead, no mandatory you student/me brilliant professor bit, just my brother: smart, interesting and actually wanting to talk to me.

So we talked.

I got off the phone, completely at sea. Felt a bit like it used to with my ex-husband…I’d gear myself up to break up with him/divorce him, and he’d be sweet as pie.

Mind you my brother has never been nasty to me, but I think his wife was last January on his behest….

There is a part of me that’s feeling very resentful. I had this all set. I knew exactly what was what, and now?

DH and I talked about it, the conclusion we came to was that I needed to sit down and talk to both my brother and his wife. If we can actually get to where there’s an emotional dialog, I’ll preserve the relationship. What’s unacceptable is that I am victimized by whatever mood they’re in AND we never talk about it or deal with whatever fallout.

It isn’t being victimized by itself, I don’t expect others to change how they feel for me, they feel what they feel, and so do I. But I do expect in an adult, mature, non-dysfunctional relationship that there is dialog possible afterwards and that the pain they may or may not cause me is something there’s some responsiblity for, at least to the extent of an apology, if nothing else.

F!

jkd

I think I can finish it. I have various technical problems with it, some of the writing is very difficult, just the technique. Also I really didn’t know how I would finish it?

But the arc is from when I first started taking control of my mental health until, for exactly that reason (my mental health), I’m removing the last piece of my “family” from my life. That’s concise and comprises a reasonable story, 37 years.

It kept plaguing me, how do I end my memoir if I’m not dead? Of course I’m still learning, still pushing away the affects of the kid crap, etc. How do I end the memoir…before I stop?

That is the silver lining in the problem with my brother/his wife, that it gave me a place to type “the end.”

jkd

at the “kitchen book” data I have with the idea that they’ll help me (for money of course) get it into some kind of saleable form.

One of my ideas has been charts that would help people choose whether product a or product b is cheaper. I’ve been fighting with one of these literally for years. I FINALLY got it tonight, and it’s all Ringo’s fault!

I wrote Ringo an email explaining what I had, what I was after, and where my problem was and KABOOM! there was the answer as easy as pie.

So I have to “pretty” it up, but that’s easy. I am SO psyched!!!

jkd

that is between various computers (an ibook, a PC laptop, various desktops) and disk crashes, more stories are not available than seem to be available.

Sigh.

More digging. It’s funny, I didn’t know I’d miss them until they were gone!

jkd

are mostly the really short ones (2,000-3,000 words, or less). So I’ll have to work on this a bit more before I can say that most of my current stuff is actually finished, but it’s a goal, ‘eh?

Let’s see…right now I have the following:

unfinished books

novel, fantasy
memoir, nonfiction
household/kitchen book, nonfiction
(DATA available for all 3)

unfinished stories

tech writer story, fantasy > 2,000 words
bookstore cats, horror? > 2,000 words
IN PROCESS
Nan, contemporary story, horror? > 2,000 words
IN PROCESS

old man story, s/f > 2000 words

scapegoat story, fantasy > 2000 words
IN PROCESS

Vera & Sally > 2000 words, contemporary?
AVAILABLE, not yet printed

Editing/tweaking required

“hospital” story, sudden fiction, 2,000 words, contemporary
IN PROCESS

If I just make myself work on the unfinished stories until they’re finished, that’s enough to keep me busy for quite a while…not to mention the unfinished books!

jkd