Keep in better touch with my true friends

Who might even be reading this.

Dear dear dear Andreas. What the hell is the matter with me??

I always tend to pull away from the people who care the most about me. It’s just wrong. I talk about him all the time, yet I can’t bring myself to call/email. Probably becasue I’m a big coward and I let so much time slip by without getting in touch.

I just sent emails to:

Don

Annet

John

People who have loved me for who I am- and people that I disappeared from. I think typing those 3 emails was 1 of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time. It’s out of my hands now.

There are 4 people who I need to get in touch with. They all deserve a damn good reaon as to why I disappeared on them. And I don’t have a damn good reason! Actually I have no excuse. The more I put this off the more I’m starting to dread speaking to them again!

It takes me a loooong time to type. Definitely peck, peck, peck!

I’ve gotten so many great comments from people and I need to respond!! Thank you everyone!

I’m amazed I even have friends still. I have 4 BEST friends:
Rachel- in Ocean City, MD. We’ve been friends since I was 11 years old. We are so much alike, she loves to travel, is a little boy crazy, and just as bad as I am about keeping in touch.

Dana- NYC- I was her roomate for a few months in the room literally the size of a closet and we never fought once. We shared a lot together, pretty deep stuff. She’s like me in that she doesn’t have too many girlfriends. I did spend a month with her last Dec., but have not been good at keeping contact.

Brandon- North Carolina- my gay soulmate. He is my Very Best Friend. We became friends when I was 16, I’d skip lunch everyday at school and he’s always see me sneaking off the campus b/c HE was skipping lunch. Finally he says (he had a car) why not skip together? My parents cringe about this whenever we reminisce, lol! We’re almost mirror images of each other. When we’re together we’re crazy. LOL, I have a memory of us in the airport walking, we had just gotten back from Paris, he had pointy man boots on, I had stiletto pointy boots on, we were probably teetering moreso than walking, and a woman came up and said, “You know, you 2 are the spitting image of the Ab Fab ladies”. We were honored! As cheesy as it sounds we’re each others sunshine. I would definitely kill for him if he was threatened. We used to talk for hours every day, but I’ve been mad at him for the past month. I just feel that I am Always there for him and he never really listens to me. Hardly ever asks about how I”M doing. He knows this, everyone who’s friends with him at some point has felt the same way. Example: when I was having boyfriend problems I’d bring it up and he’s say, “Oh, no. Anyways… that reminds me,” blah blah blah. I miss him though, I’ve been too stubborn to call since I’ve been back from Prague. I’m going through Brandon Withdrawal!

Shane- Atlanta- We’ve been friends for a couple years, but it’s been the last 2 that we’ve really gotten close. I love Shane. We’re equal friends if that makes sense. He’so so good at listening to me, and I hope he feels the same way vise-vera! I miss him!!

I am so bad though at keeping in regular touch with these people! I have SO MANY “friends”, mostly people I meet traveling, keep in touch with, then call when I get to town and go out with. They really don’t know ME though. They’re all fun and nice, but can I count on them?

I was sick around the time of my past birthday (June 9th) and that Really showed me who was a real friend. I got so many calls and emails, “How are you going to party?”, “Where will you be?” etc. Then once people found out I was sick most just disappeared. Yeah people, SORRY. I have a temperature of 104 and AM NOT going to be good times party Juliana for my birthday!

Ugghhh. I hate venting. That still bothers me though. I was in the ER by myself the night of my birthday. But, on the bright side some people who I didn’t expect came forward to be supportive. Life’s crazy.

Getting off track here. I need to keep my best friends and I know I could be a much better friend to them.

Geez! Enough of these long entries!