I took this Santa Hat photo for my Self Portrait Flickr goal and I am finding I like it, and how I look in it specifically, more and more and more.
My confidence is actually lowest of all in areas of appearance and in possible relationships of the romantic kind with decent men. I have had several longish relationship since my then-husband left our family in January, 2000.
I am obviously not one of those women who “needs” a relationship and given the fact that I am a mother (especially now with a “special needs” child on top of everything else) I am exceptionally guarded when it comes to men. I have dated, but don’t introduce my children to men unless there is a strong possibility for a future. I dated one guy for more than two years and my children saw him only a handful of times and then, there was no touchy touchy stuff in front of them.
Call me weird or old fashioned, I don’t know.
I dated a guy last Spring who completely didn’t get this “rule” of mine. So, ofcourse, we didn’t date for very long.
I feel so ready now, though, and I look at photos like this Santa hat one and I think “See, Julie, you are appealing physically” but there is a huge part of me that doesn’t see it.
Its funny, cause this Self Portrait goal can be seen as such an egotistical one, but for me it isn’t about that at all. It is more about self comfortability than ego.
Ok. I am going to make myself a snack and settle in to veg for the night. I am sleepy and all day I have wanted to cocoon. Now is the time.
Pray my kids get tired early, ‘K?
And I am adding this edit – I didn’t write this so people would throw compliments my way. I wrote it because it is what I sincerely feel. Don’t want people to think I am trolling for compliments. I am being authentic. Ok, now that that is cleared up. LOL.