lucid dream

Man, I’ve been working too hard (just so you know) so thus haven’t even been remembering normal dreams very much. Hopefully, the mere act of writing this entry will help.
AM I DREAMING….NOW?

Haven’t been lucid for a while now. I thought that if I did it once, they would flow as from a tap. But its more like a dripping tap- chaotic and unpredictable. The more I think about dreaming the less I understand.

I very much want to have a lucid dream soon. Ive been reading and thinking a lot about lucid dreaming lately really hoping for one. I read something, though that said its important to not want it too much. So I dont want it as much any more.

I’m hoping that simply by writing this entry on this page here will trigger a lucid dream when I fall asleep…

Are you dreaming now? How do you know?

Wow I finally had a lucid one! Am incredibly excited about it. Listened to a podcast the night before of a woman talking about her experiences as an adept LDer.

The talker was relating her technique of trying to keep her eyes open for as long as poss before falling asleep, so as to somehow carry some kind of conscious awareness into sleep. I tried it and it worked. The first time since I been trying, some 10 years now.

I was flying head first over a park and the question just came to me. ‘Is this a dream?’ ‘No, cant be…hang on, course it is, Im flying!’ But unfortunately I was a bit gutted cos that meant I couldnt actually fly for real, its just a dream, which sorta undermined the magic of the experience.

Anyway, I thought what I could do with my lucidity, and I considered having sex with Moinica Belluci, but soon realised that flying over meadows was the best thing I could possibly be doing anyway! So I did a loop de loop in the air to test the control, cos I know I cant do them when Im flying ‘normally’ and it worked but I awoke upon completion.

So it was all a little unrewarding being lucid but I know this is just the start. Wow

Im still not having any joy at lucidity. I have been talking and reading about it though, which Im sure helps alot, especially just before sleeping, cos this plants the idea into your mind, making it more likely to recur during REM, but its kinda backfiring cos now Im talking about how i want to lucid dream WHILE IM ACTUALLY DREAMING. It just doesnt occur to me that I might be dreaming so i never question it. Even though Im constantly asking myself during waking hours. Im getting frustrated. Maybe I have really no idea of the difference between dream and reality. But Ill keep on..

Ive never had a fully lucid dream, despite trying for the last 10 years. I keep a dream diary, recite positive affirmations, get my friends to constantly ask me whether Im dreaming, I even try sleeping for 12 hours straight!
Im making some progress- I sometimes tell recurring dream characters that I dream about them but I never actually have said to myself in a dream, “right, youre dreaming, what are you gonna do?”
Any suggestions? Is there anyone out there who has actually achieved lucidity through any technique, who had never been lucid before?
Im convinced that mastering lucid dreams can help you take control of your life in ways you can only dream about…