start a religious cult

I’d better hurry up with this- theres only 6 months left till the day the prophecy prophesises.

I’m wondering if I should get a robe, or better still, a staff. Not enough people carry staffs these days. Except crazed old druids living in Newbury, or worse- Croydon!

Maybe I can help bring staffs back into fashion?

I’m only half serious about this one and I use the words ‘religious’ and ‘cult’ quite loosely.

But there are so many wackos leading groups of unthinking morons (not you) out there that I figure I can do better.

There would be a message of tolerance at its fundamental level and an ethos of free thinking and essential sharing. You wont have to give me any money, work for me, shag me or cut off your privates.

We wont carry guns, guilt or greed. We wont have to get up at 5 in the morning.

We will go on on bike rides and have cheese-tasting evenings. We will celebrate joy more than suffering. We will have lots of interesting discussions about ‘stuff’. We shall carve a new spiritual domain for our century. We shall change the world.

Ive always had a messiah complex (long story) and a passion for truth. Will you join me?