be more confident

after an unfortunate experience with the public of my highschool at a certain important football game.

i got extremely jealous of everyone in the world.
because everyone in the world was there.
with their.
perfect gorgeous boyfriend.
and their perfect gorgeous friends.

and i was there with no one.

and i felt very alone.

and i came home and cried.

my mom told me.

“you have to stop thinking ‘they wont like me’ because they WILL like you.”

and i guess i never knew that that’s why i was so shy around boys and girls. because it’s true. i automatically think people are too good for me.

or i’m not good enough. they won’t like me. they think i’m nasty.

i have to stop thinking that way.

maybe they will like me.

i am confident enough to break out into random dance in macy’s.

but i am not confident enough to talk to people i see as “more important” than me.

i am confident enough to wave at a cute boy on the street.

but I am not confident enough to look at a cute boy at school.

i am confident enough to wear leopard print and gaudy jewelry.

but i am not confident enough to buy clothes at the store.

=/