lose weight once and for all

What can i say… what excuse should i use this time??? I’m pm-sing, I’m stressed, I love eating, I hate diets, I was feeling down, had no time to cook, I’m trying to get pregnant and can’t seem to, I hate my job, I’m bored, I go out to eat lunch most days, my closest bud at work is pregnant and has all kinds of cravings which tend to become my own … i can go on forever. But these are just excuses. I’m binging because I’m supposed to be on a diet and i can’t stop thinking about food and chocolate and all the things I’m supposed to be giving up. Yes, I know, I know… I’m not supposed to look at it that way. It’s supposed to be a life style change, blah, blah, blah… I just can’t, sorry, I re-phrase, I just have not yet had the will, motivation, strength of character to do it.

Weight watchers on Sat. Great.

How scary is it to get on the scale after you been bad for so long? I did it though and now I’m tracking. I do find it difficult not to stop tracking once I eat my forth mini (Halloween size) kitkat chocolate. Do I really have to? I know the answer to that, but I still hate it. Most of the time, I stop tracking the minute I get off track.

I shall bombard myself with positive and motivating magazines, people and try to avoid the tv and boredom… which lead me to eat.

At 169 now and want to be at 120. I’m hoping that by sharing this I can stay more accountable.

Can’t seem to get my butt in gear. Why is it so difficult?

Here is the deal. Weight watchers called, not a joke people, I mean, they called me at work. Are they stalking me and can they see all the chocolate wrappers I try (too many to actually accomplish the task) to hide in my garbage? I figure this is a message. So one last chow down with the girls over some incredibly delicious (high sugar) drinks and then to WW tomorrow morning (aprés my run ; )

35 yr old married woman with 12 yr daughter with a full time job is desperately seeking 21 yr old sexy self. Okay, okay… let’s be realistic here. I can accept that I’m never going to be 21 again or have that (plz allow me this – awesome) body, but i cannot accept that this is it.

I’m that woman, the woman who is getting older but can’t accept that she should no longer be desirable. I want to feel good in my skin. I miss the confidence I had when I wasn’t worried about how fat I look. I am the woman who refuses to buy bigger clothes and struggles every morning to fit into a way too small pair of pants and need to find a baggy top to cover it up. I sit on the couch and hold a pillow over my belly so as to hide the blubber (as if that will do it!).

And I write all this, as I chow down a bag of dark chocolate covered cranberries. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, and I decided to put it out there. This is me and this is my goal and I am going do it (once and for all)... so here is to perseverance.

“The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.” ~Author Unknown