There was one person early in my life (he came around when I was 4 or 5) that killed my self-esteem. He was a father figure for a good period of time (certainly the longest a father figure has been in my life). He’d joke around (call me chubby, etc.) with the intentions of making a joke. I know we both regret to this day that he did that.
Most of the time I only feel “pretty” when I’m made up, but it takes so much effort sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it.
Some days I feel pretty because I have a ton of self-confidence. These days are few and far between.
I usually just feel stressed, and when I’m under a lot of stress I think very negatively about myself.
I once had a friend who was very pretty but had crap for self-esteem like I do. She was trying to get a guy to like her, but would always try to give up because she wasn’t good enough. Every time she did that I would pinch her on the arm and tell her that she’s beautiful and if he didn’t like her that he was a jerk. She ended up dating him well through high school and I think they’re still together.
I wish I had someone to do that to me (wistful sigh)
