get mental health treatment

I’ve recently learned of the availability of low-cost therapy offered by the psychology departments of local universities. My fiancée is going to help hook me up.

Six months unemployed. Can’t get a job until I start feeling better about myself. Can’t get help feeling better about myself until I can afford it. Can’t afford it until I get a job.

Gotta love the American way.

Fuck.

My girlfriend advises me that it would be worthwhile to find a new therapist despite the fact that I will likely not be able to spend more than a few months with him (and she does think it would be better if it was a “him” than a “her”). I will just need to find someone who accepts fees on a sliding scale, and I will need to determine whether my regular doctor can take over the prescription currently administered by my current psychiatrist.

My insurance coverage for my psychiatrist visits is done—they cover only 15 office visits in a calendar year. I can’t afford the cost out of my pocket, and it doesn’t sound like my psychiatrist offers a sliding scale fee. I guess it’s my own darned fault for not clarifying these things at the outset.

If I start seeing someone else, I’ll just have to stop again when I move in September.

So I guess I’ll have to give up for now.

I think I’m hitting the wall with this. Maybe even backsliding. I’m doubting that my psychiatrist is helping me get any closer to answers for myself. But my insurance coverage for those office visits is just about up for the year, so maybe that’s moot anyway.

I’m continuing on this path—still seeing the psychiatrist, still taking the antidepressant.

The antidepressant seems to have made the more noticeable difference. Time was that when I started to feel bad about something, my emotions would take a steep slide into gloom and doom. Nowadays I don’t seem to sink into those really low lows often at all.

There’s still work to do. I’m still working on some discomfort with my psychiatrist, but that may just be due to my own reluctance to open up in general. I think it’s improving.

My girlfriend has been very encouraging and says she can tell I’ve gotten significantly better. It’s good to have an external reference like that.

2 appointments with the psychiatrist, and now 2 days on an antidepressant (different one than I was taking a couple of years ago). A few short months ago I didn’t think I’d make it this far by now.

Today I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist recommended by my doctor. I think it went all right.

Medication seems likely, but we agreed to talk about that in more detail later.

I’m hoping my employer won’t make it a big hassle for me to take a regular chunk of time out of the office every week.

Finally, finally have an appointment in a week and a half. Hope it goes all right.

This is ridiculous. At some point I still have to talk to somebody directly. Yet I’m afraid to do that.

This is a catch-22 that I fear I’ll never break out of.