Mend my broken heart

Remember what it feels like to be really sick for days… when it takes all your energy to get out of bed…when your skin is raw from blowing your nose too much…when you start to think that you might be dying and it doesn’t sound so bad? Remember the day the fever breaks? You still feel like crap but you can sense that you’ll be ok. That’s where I’m at. I’m roaming around rock bottom learning what it feels like to breath again.

I breakdown in random places, at random times. I’m ok for awhile and then find myself sobbing uncontrollably. The world seems hazy and surreal. I feel mostly dead.

I wonder how much time it takes to mend a broken heart. I still have those days that I feel so deeply empty I want to vomit. Keeping busy helps but sometimes it’s like an out of body experience. I’m see myself laughing and talking but I’m numb.

I knew I was going to let myself get hurt the first time we kissed. I just didn’t realize how much it was going to hurt. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep until he becomes a dream. Can someone tell me when this will end?