have children

2 of my friends are about to have babies (this week and next month). so i am looking at them, realizing that i am scared to bits to be pregnant but at the same time i would love it. it’s a strange feeling but i notice it arising really fast inside me. and i don’t even have a boyfriend! there is a lot of catching up to be done in my life!

i watched the film “The Hours” last night. and there was a woman on the film (starred by Julian Moore). she had a little boy and she was pregnant. she was so unhappy and she left the family after the 2nd baby was born.
so there she was pregnant and unhappy. and so her neighbor was unable to have children and going in for surgery to maybe finally be able to get pregnant.
it’s amazing the way some people don’t care about things that other people want the most.
i hope i make a great mum when the time comes to be one. even if i it means i have to be a single mum, i’d go for it. i get the feeling i started to want to give, not only to enjoy myself.

my mum was at a magician and she was told i am going to have a boy and a girl. at the moment it seems impossible as i don’t even have a relationship but actually it really was a thing that cheered me up. i don’t really believe in magic but i surely would/will love my babies so very much.
2 of my friends are pregnant at the moment and it is so exciting to see how their bellies get bigger each time we meet. i would love to feel a baby moving inside me and kicking:) someday i will..