control my anger

no nagging, no stupid angers for 4 days now. i am taking it serious this time. and i am taking it serious because i want him to be happy with me.
but the thing is i am starting to realise that the anger was just a stupid way to show there is something not right…
i mean i seriously lack joy of life lately and i still can’t put my finger to what causes that. i do realize i am supposed to be on top of the world: got my lover, got my cosy home, got my job, my pets, my nice leisure time and my all.
i read my diary entries of more than a year ago. i was longing for love so much and so lonely. but to read them entries, i kind of notice i was actually a lot more motivated and sparkling. i so want to get it back!!!

i want this to be the way i am constantly!!!
i enjoy the inner peace so much and i want so much to be a happy cookie :)

i have become a real witch lately…
i mean i am being positive and the next second something stupid comes up my way and i light up like a match in a second. i blame it on being tired and the need of vacation. but trully, i’d better admit to myself that i need to control my emotions better. the way i am recently is hard for me and for people around me. i want to make them happy, not tense. i want to solve problems, not cause conflicts.
once i get annoyed i feel like my blood is boiling and i explode. just because i didn’t like something that was said. i mean it’s so stupid. i want this to stop! i want to stop this.