improve communication skills

Someone I know trusted me and let me into their lives. They told me about what was going on with them and what their plans are for this year. I was told I was the only person who knew and they were waiting to tell me this for awhile.

I was told that my thoughts on the matter helped them. I found out that me and this person have more in common that we both knew. We have the same goals and like the same things.

We talked for about an hour and it was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t nervous and I tried my best to listen and not interrupt with my thoughts. It was a good back and forth, like a chess game- one move at a time.

I am hoping that this person and I can become very good friends. Friendship is very important to me.

Today I went to lunch with a friend from work. This woman is so cool and we tried a new Indian restuarant.

I had so much fun. She kept me smiling and laughing and I felt totally at ease around her.

The restaurant was beautiful and elegant and they offered a great lunch buffet. Fresh food, good conversation and good people.

I think I am learning to slow down a bit and try to listen more. I am also more willing to go out with other more too.

I have a lunch date tommorow and one next week.

My goal is to have breakfast, lunch or coffee with all the administrative assistants in my office and then expand outward to meet the lower level managers. I want to expand my circle by talking with people of different cultures, lifestyles and attitudes.

As I get to know more people and hopeful build solid relationship, I want to move up to having meals and going out with small groups of people.

I am okay when it’s one on one, can deal with small groups of people but panic when it’s more than ten people.

I have a lot of work cut out for me but I will take it one person at a time.

Yesterday I went to lunch with one of my managers and had a wonderful time. I was a bit nervous because at first it was a group us going and everyone else cancelled. We decided to go and went to a Steak House.

My manager is a really cool guy and I enjoy working with his team. He was a real gentleman and kept the conversation until my nerves calmed.

The meal was excellent but I couldn’t finish it all (of even half) because of my band. We got to know each other a little better and I found out I am doing a good job at work.

As the lunch progressed I felt more comfortable talking with him.

My husband and I spent a good portion of yesterday talking about our likes and dislikes. We reflected on our marriage and talked honestly about how things have changed.

It was a scary talk for me because I always fear I am going to say the wrong thing. My husband, the brave soul that he is, has no problem of expressing how he feels.

We both agree that we are missing something in our communication and yesterday was his first steps into bridging the gap. I admit that I have issues with talking and he tried to talk about things that would get me to open up. He asked me about things like what makes me happy, what makes me laugh and what are the silly things I like.

We discussed our views on marriage, love, life and our future. We talked about the things we expected from one another and how we viewed each other life dreams. We even addressed thing in each other’s personalities that causes strain in our relationship.

My husband, the master of small talk, was able to get me on even ground. I feel good about this because some how we are trying to address the issues that we can’t ignore.

We made some progress yesterday but our talks are far from over.

I am going to have a lot of practice this week. I met some new people after a company sponsored workshop. I am meeting one of my coworkers who attended for lunch on Monday. I am so nervous.

I met one of the painters during renovations at my job. He went from working corporate to working for himself. His story was pretty cool. He looks like he has fun with what he does. We started talking about how to become a painter and how much money you could make. We also talked about getting out of the corporate realm and into a job that pays for something you love to do.

Normally I couldn’t talk to a guy like him because of my shyness or feeling of not wanting to intrude. I have learned over the last year, if you give a person an opening to talk about stuff they like, they are willing to share.

I am also trying to talk and get to know my team better. I work with a great group of guys. This is the first time I have found a really great team.

I am also trying to get to know my coworkers and management team at my company. It’s a pretty friendly work environment. I try and say good morning to everyone I come in contact with daily.

My confidence in talking with others has improved since I started this goal and for that I am proud.

I have been working on this goal daily. I am still nervous but have been getting a lot of practice when I do my photography.

The feedback has been positive. I have been told I make people feel very comfortable and at ease. One person said I make them feel like they are the only and most important person in a room.

I have tried to learn how to work my way around rooms. I try to talk to guests and see how they are doing.

I have gotten to know people that I see daily on my way to work. I say good morning, good afternoon and good evening to everyone I see.

I’m trying to get to know my team a bit better. We have a group retreat coming up soon and I am looking forward to hanging out with my group off hours. I love my team and I want them to know me more too.

Yesterday I went to do photography at a Bridal Shower/Tea Party.

I wasn’t so nervous as I usually am and I think the books and studying is helping. I met a lot of great women and we all had a great time.

My husband thinks I am great at small talk until I start to think too much.

I get nervous and it all goes to shit and I start to freeze up or babble.

I have been studying up on how to talk with people and the things that make a conversation go more smoothly.

I am reading Dale Carnegie’s book “How to make friends and Influence Others.” It’s a great book and I learned a few lessons.

Listening is key to getting better at small talk. I tend to try to ask people about themselves and ask questions about the things I have heard through out the conversation.

The hard part for me is thinking about how to get the ball rolling. After “How you are doing?” and “Nice party/event”, I am usually at a loss for words.

So I figured that I should look up conversation starters. I am trying to find more opportunites to meet new people and make new friends.

I am horrible with names. For some reason I have a very difficult time remembering names. Dale Carnegie’s book addresses that.

The event went well.

The award event was held at Cipriani on 42nd Street in New York. The afternoon started with one-hour cocktails and networking followed by a beautiful lunch. The awards and presentations were from 1:00-2:30 PM.

When you walk in you are greet by dozens of waiters and staff who are there to suit your every need. Waiters greeted you with flutes of Cipriani’s signature drink, a mixture for chilled peach puree and champagne. Other drinks were offered at the bar area.

It was my first time at Cipriani and I was not disappointed. The entire of this building was massive and can render a person speechless. It was like stepping into a mansion or castle. The stone block walls, marble floors, high ceilings and tapestries were stunning.

I was disappointed that I decided not be bring my camera because the architecture was picture worthy. I knew if I did bring my camera I would of ignored the event to take photos of everything. I also felt it would have been in bad taste, to do that when I was invited to the event as a guest. So I took mental pictures and notes about the look and feel of the place.

My group checked in and our coats were taken. Off to your left you have a bar and networking area. Even at 11:00 AM the room was packed with the old and new faces of advertising. Representatives from companies like FedEx, NBA and USA Today were in attendance. There were decades of experience in one room.

Since Advertising isn’t my forte I decided to step back and try to put names to faces that I knew. Although I was nervous I walked around smiling and greeting faces that I didn’t know. I smiled at every face that I met eyes with. Eventually I found myself near the bar at the end of the networking session waiting for the awards to begin. My manager, who was being awarded, walked up to me and we stood together watching the room.

“I don’t know what to do or say at these things.” He said sipping on the peach drink.
“ Me neither.” I said
“It gets easier as you drink more of these.” he says indicating to his flute of peach happiness. We both smiled and he went back to smoozing the crowd.

A stage was set towards the front of the main hall. The remaining space was set up for dining and viewing of the entire event. Dozens of linen covered tables that seat ten. As a former caterer and event planner, I was impressed with the events set up and ambiance.

I was seated with my manager’s family, his wife’s family, and a few of my colleagues. Who ever made the sitting arrangements did an excellent job. I learned about my manager’s family during the lunch and was able to learn more about him as well.

Lunch was great. Appetizers were red and yellow tomatoes with fresh mozzarella drizzled with olive oil. The entrée was filet mignon, sweet snap beans, and squared polenta. It was very well balanced meal. For dessert there was a scrumptious tiramisu in a chocolate cup. Red and white wine was offered. I sipped on my one peach drink of happiness through out the entire event. I am not much of big drink yet I wanted to remain social. No one knew the difference.

The awards started during dessert. Each honor was given an introduction by two people who worked with them and there was a video montage made about them. The montages were all funny and creative. Finally the honoree was brought to the stage and to receive their award and give a two-minute speech.

As I sat listening to about the inductees, I felt happy for their achievements. Each one was a leader and gave so much of themselves and was devoted to doing a good job at work, home and in the community. Each one started from humble beginning and worked to obtaining the things they wanted most in life. Each one had an interesting story and by the end of the award ceremony I was more than happy that I went.

I learned a lot from my experience at this event:

• Although this was short notice, I have decided to find out more about any future event that I go to and the people who may be attending. This limited me in some ways.

• I am considering joining or starting a Toastmaster group in my area. As I watched the speakers I realized that one-day I may need to speak before a crowd and should learn more about Public Speaking, especially if I want to be a writer, own a small business and build an empire.

• That being successful is a mixture of things and means different things to different people. Each winner gave their thanks to others who supported them, guided them, and helped them along the way. The number one person who was thanked during each speech was the person’s family.

• Lastly, I learned that if you want something bad enough, it doesn’t matter where or how you start, but what you do daily to get closer to your goal.

Advertising Hall of Achievements
http://www.aaf.org/awards/ahoa.html

Cipriani
http://www.cipriani.com/cipriani/Locs/42main.htm