be my own best friend

I took myself out for a scoop of ice cream last week to cheer myself up.

Normally I am around others who I share it with. But this one single scoop was all for me.

I found a quiet corner and enjoyed it.

I decided to take myself out for dinner. I have had one hell of a month and I decided to do something special to celebrate.

I went to a small Italian Restuarant and had dinner. I had a beef/sausage tuscan style lasagna. This version had more tomato sauce and meet and only a little bit of cheese.

I am so used to cheese fllled pasta that this version so tasted better. A fresh change.

I sat down and wrote and slowly ate my meal in quiet. I watched the other patrons in the dim candle lit restaurant. Laughter filled the areas as other patrons celebrated and enjoyed their meals.

It feel very good to get some me time. I thought about what I have done in the past few months and what was in store for me in the coming months.

Not a bad dinner for $9.95.

Water is free :)

Last week I changed my desk at work. I want to lower my stress level at work. I have been successful in lowering my stress in my personal life.

I put up a small map 8×10 map of the USA and put pushpins in the states that I have visited. I have almost four weeks of vacation to use and wrote out the places I wanted to visit the most by years end. I researched and price the trips and decided what I needed to do to make these trips a reality. Most of them are $300 or less.

I have three small photos of things that calm me. The ocean, a secluded island front and two lounge chairs near an outdoor hotel room.

I have a small picture of a Volvo C70 convertible. I have never been a car person until I saw this car. If I could fufill one guilty pleasure in life, it would be this car. I don’t know why I am drawn to it but it’s the car for me if I ever decided to buy one. This photo reminds me of my goals because I my need to explore the open road.

The last photo I have is a photo of my grandparents home that I took last summer. I was experimenting with infrared film and it don’t come out right but this photo ended up having a dream like quality to it that I enjoy. This photo represents home to me and it keeps me grounded. it reminds me where I am from and who I am.

These photos are the first and last thing I see when I go to work. It keeps me focused.

It also reminds me that I can’t wait for someone else to make me happy but to start actively doing things now to make myself happy. I have to live life to the fullest.

Yesterday I took an hour or two to myself after work. I was feeling kind of stressed but went for a walk to clear my head.

• I joined the gym/recreation center.

• Tried steamed dumplings for the first time.

• Wore my favorite shirt and my most comfortable jeans to my first day back at work.

I looked in the mirror and told myself “I love You”.

I am proud to say I am the first person in the New Year to say that to me.

I do love myself even though for most of my life I didn’t act like I did. It felt good to look myself in the face and love who I am and the skin I am in.

For the first time in years, I bought myself a holiday gift because I thought it’s time to do so. It wasn’t something useful or for anyone else but me.

I bought me a pair of sexy black shoes. One’s I can where with a dress, skirt, slacks or jeans. My first pointy tip shoes too.

They have a around the ankle buckle. Chic and sexy.

I put them on and my legs went wow…

My ego went “Yes!”

My pocket didn’t even cry because these puppies where 40% off and they were previously reduce. I saved a piggy banks worth of money.

I figure I break the New Year in with a high note.