buy myself flowers at least once a month, take a picture.

I didn’t take a picture, but I did by myself some peonies, I had some seriously fucked up shit happen at the end of last year. Family shit, shit that was supposed to have been dealt with and done with that re-emergeged bigger, ugglier and meaner than ever…
I decided to see someone about it to get these emotions back in check. I did, the one thing he asked me that I could not answer was ‘what are you doing for yourself?’ every answer I offered was actually still about someone else- I spend time with my son- not about me, I walk the dog- not about me, I cook for the family- not about me…..hmmmm
As always happens when you have a ‘session’ for the 1st time to deal with drama, you feel like you have been hit by a bus, everything comes back up that you thought was hidden, you are forced to face the darkest demons. After that shock, there is light, lightness and lighter heart, head, shoulders, you walk a little taller, you have faught the fight and you won.

This day I rewarded myself with flowers. Pink Peonies.

I found marked down flowers in the supermarket, beautiful iris’s, tulipl, carnations, i spent $10 but i got so many flowers that i ran out of vases…

I got the most lovely flowers from my friends today wishing me a happy friday and saying she missed me literally the card said ‘Happy Friday, i miss you’ sadly i can’t have them in my office because i work in production but they are lovely and i can take them home and be happy in their lovelyness…

i haven’t managed this unless i can take an average, i will go 3 weeks with flowers every week then a month with none…