The otehr day i grabebd my copy og “Nimrod” the Green Day album with Good Riddence on it, i knew i would have to face the song eventually if i played it in the car. I did and when it played i turned it up and sang- loudly. If i’m singing it i’m fine, i think its like a photographer seeing images thorugh the camera, those are fine but take away the lense and it crumbles. That being said it plays when other people are in the car and i don’t sing, sadly i do have to talk over the top of it or i start thinking about it too much. I still feel sad when i hear it but then i think about all the other memories surrounding it. I really am getting better, unfortunately when it comes on my ipod i still get a moment fight or flight like feeings and skip it. I am getting there but its a long and slow process.
Ladysocks has written 5 entries about this goal
From the moment i heard Green Day’s ‘Good Riddence (Time of your life)’ i loved it. Then as time went on it seemed to pop up at critical points in my life….when big decisiosn were made, during big decisions…. the list goes on, sadly the last time i heard it was November 2009, at my ex boyfriends funeral. The reason he was my boyfriend in the 1st place was because i aditioned for a part in a show using that song and he was back stage, at the afterparty we hooked up and were pretty much inseparable for 2 years…i was heart broken and ran away to teh US, it was played when i was on the way to choose my houseing, then on the last night at my leaving party my friend started singing it (never having known its meaning to me) the whole room started singing it, i have always felt that ‘time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go’ and the song did the same. Then Mark died, his sister didn’t know the meaning of the song and at the funeral i was coping allbeit tearily, until they started that song and the coffin was lowered, i lost it… thank god i had good friends with me because….god it was horrible…
That song was mine. Now even if i hear the opening chords i feel sick…. i need to get over this and take it back, i just know its gonna take a while.
The funny thing of it all is i rarely played the song but rather it was played….in the supermarket, my friends car, etc but i haven’t accidentaly heard it soon. There were alot of songs played at that funeral but this is the only one i can’t stand to hear…
Once i have i will do what i had intended all along… i have a tattoo on the inside of both my wrists, i want ‘Time grabs you by the wrist, around one tattoo and ‘directs you where do go’ on the other…. when i can live seeing those words every day i will have this song back…
One year i saw an older dog on a pound ad, it was almost my birthday so i made the mature decision to get him for myself. His name is Dexter. My boyfriend at the time asked me y i spent $150 on a dog that was just going to die soon anyway? I was of the opinion that even if he did, why should he die in a pound rather than a home with love…anyways i got rid of the boyfriend, kept the dog.
That was 2007….its now 2011…THATS NOT SOON, YOU SELFISH UN-EMPATHETIC BAG OF SHIT yeah he’s getting well on in years, he was 8 when i got him and he’s a big dog with a life expectancey of 10-12 yrs…well that makes him 11…I’m not stupid but still i have had 4 wonderful years from him and i love him more than i ever did that loser boyfriend… Dexter you’re the best.
I’ve known this song forever and i always thought it true to my chacater and i have seen in performed live and i love it. Then my ex heard it and adopted it as ‘his song’ about his ex, i was ok, agreed it seemed relevant, THEN i realised he was just like all the other soul sucking losers i had had in my life and ‘i can’t help you fix yourself but i at least i can say i tried’ as the song goes was more than relevant to him… sooo FUCK YOU DAN, I’m taking it back because ‘i’m sorry but i’ve gottA move on with my own life’ sadly for you, you pathetic piece of shit, that includes the son you never wanted to meet from the scans photos you claimed were for precious….JERK. MY SONG.
places that i used to love, songs i used to live by etc that at some point i gave away or lost…. you know shared them with a ‘special person’ and then they became less special to me? TAKE THEM BACK. first step, identifying them.