become who I'm supposed to be

I was told by one of my friends that this goal
was pointless. I said why? They said I already
am who I’m supposed to be and that, unless I can
go into the future, it is pointless. The only way
I can say “become who I’m supposed to be” is when
I’m dead and then I won’t know and won’t care. It’ll
never be completed on here.

They got a point…I seem to have mis-labled this
goal lol. I can’t think of a better way to word it
though, so they are just gonna have to accept it yah.
Still though, It doesn’t hurt to believe you have a
destiny…otherwise, what’s the point? heh food for thought.

Well, In a month or so, I’ll have an
idea of what direction to go in. It’s
not like I’m looking for it to be
permanent or any career move, it’s just
potentially life changing for me-in a
good way. I’m looking at it in a fun light.
If it turns out to be a bummer out, then
it’ll be alright. If it turns out to be an
awesome deal, who knows where it will lead.
I’m keeping my mind wide open!

I declare the year 2010 to be the year of the Jen!
I expect to be able to do things that I can do…
this should be in the 2010 goal thingy…heh

...you know how you can tell there’s trouble in
“paradise” but ya can’t quite put your finger on it?
Well, this goes along with my last post in here as
well as a comment I left for another 43’er…It sucks
finding out that your suspicions were correct.

Not only does it make me angry, but it also makes me
feel, sad, hurt, humiliated, betrayed, fearful…Notice
I didn’t say anything about jealousy? I am nowhere near
jealous. That’s not the way I roll. My concerns are deeper
than that. My brother, on the other hand, claims it’s a
“cat pissing up a pole” type deal…jealousy…he’s clueless.
There is nothing for me to be jealous of. It’s the deceit,
lying, betrayal, lack of respect for me, and etc that I’m
concerned with.

I’m trying to keep myself in check here. At least I’m
trying to continue improving myself. As long as I’m
true to myself, that’s all that matters.

It is time to finish trimming the “dead wood”
out of my life. When I do, then I’ll heal and
grow. Let’s face it. If you have a limb with
gangrene, do you leave it to consume your entire
body? Do you amputate it and hope that it heals?

This goes for things in your life; including people
unfortunately. Some situations are holding you down
or killing you. Some people are just plain out to
hurt and destroy you. If you limit your exposure,
sever ties, or change surroundings and circumstances,
things will change. Then you can begin to heal, move
on, and continue to grow.

One golden rule: Never close the door completely.
People can change if they want to as can circumstances,
unless the things or persons in your life are a danger.

If I’m not striving to be my best then I’m just
existing. Always try to better yourself and
reach new heights. Every accomplishment, no
matter how small, is great and worthy of praise.