have a meaningful relationship

carrie was right, the most meaninful relationship is the one you have with yourself. you have to know yourself so that you know what to offer… not that one ever knows oneself completely, at least i hope not, i like the element of surprise, but i think investigating yourself, and knowing the whys of your reality is really important…. really really important…

a meaningful relationship?? are you serious??? i think that i was not myself when i wrote this goal. I have had a meaningful relationship. All the bad ones, the good ones, the ugly ones, the unfulfilled ones, and even ones that haven’t completely developet yet, are all meaningful. they have all taught me something valuable and in that, i find meaning. maybe what you yearn for, you already have, in a way you didnt think of… it’s time to open up my eyes to things that i DO have, and not be so miserable about things i DONT have… life is too short.

why cant it be that the guy LOOOVES you, and loves you enough for the both of you- meaning, he loves you plenty to make you feel like you love yourself. i’m not sure why i feel that way, because i have a lot of things going for me, i should be proud and happy with myself… but why am i not? it’s just easier to have him love you than to love yourself…..... but can that actually happen? and if so…. what happens if (or when) he doesnt love you anymore?

I’m not sure what a “meaningful relationship” is considered by popular standards. To me, it’s sharing, knowing, loving, understanding, respecting a person, and feeling that they give you the same. Recently, i have come to the conclusion that i’ve been short changing myself. it seems that i put myself down about my weight before anyone else can, and making myself lose out before i even get started. this is a lose-lose attitude, and i’m tired of it. yes, i have to lose weight, but i’m not a monster, i’m a person with feelings, and nice ones as well as not so nice ones, that are all part of me. i am capable of having a meaningful relationship, and i will have one. (right?)