I have no clue where to start when it comes to curbing my jealously. I am so incredibly jealous and insecure about my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends(and many of the frivilous fucks he’s had) because he and I used to be cheaters. I know how fucked up it is to cheat on someone and I have a hard time trusting him that he won’t do the same to me.
But those ex’s really get me insecure. I want to be confident that he thinks of noone but me, but our relationship has been rocky and I can’t help but feel that’s not the case. I constantly suspicious that he’s have a secret affair with one of his exes or even someone he had contemplated hooking up with before he met me.
I don’t know what to do about it. My jealousy makes me want to grab my boyfriend and shake him until he breaks all contact off with his ex girlfriends. In the same instance I know that his having a good relationship with his exes is a sign of maturity, yet I am so damned insecure that I can’t help but think there is more than just friendship there.
I also truly feel that he will never love me as intimately as he has loved the girls in his past. I don’t think our relationship is as strong as some of the others he has had.
I need to stop this but don’t know how. I feel sick just thinking about it…because I sound like I’m asking for a pity party.
But I’m not, I just want to stop my jealously from controlling my life.
