feel the fear and do it anyway

• Resigned from my part time job because of its hugely negative impact on my life, despite the fear of not immeadiately having another job

• Applied for jobs, phoned numerous employers, and gone to job interviews

• Gone to see a cosmetic dentist, which is something I have been putting off for at least 2 years out of fear

• Started doing some volunteer work which really puts me out of my comfort zone

• Completed a first aid course

• Attempted to donate blood, (even though I discovered my iron was too low to do so)

I think I’ll consider this goal completed for now.

I feel like my life is really uncertain at the moment.
For uni I have to complete work placements at different settings. I’ve just done a 6 week placement at a community mental health centre. In May I have to do a hospital based placement in cardiology.

It’s easy to forget how overwhelming that sort of experience can be. The first morning of the placement I’ve just finished was scary . I had no idea what I was getting myself in for at all. But it all went really well in the end. It’s hard though, I get this horrible sense of impending doom when I think about having to go to this next placement, start all over again meeting all the staff and figuring out what to do and proving myself and surviving all the assessments. Argh.

At the moment I’m also seriously considering quitting my part time job and I’ve started the process of applying for other jobs. It seems like its all going to happen at once – job interviews, starting placement, resigning from my old job and (hopefully) securing a new one.

It’s scary, and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but its also exciting. It’s autumn now and there a chill in the air and I feel like it’s time for so many changes in my life.