stop being a bitch

GREATTTT PROGRESSS on this goal, if i may say so myself. [[[:

i have not been a bitch!! like seriously! and doing very well at staying that way.

i really am doing well, i swear.

i need to start being happy with myself. like genuinely..
like i’ve said before.. i just take it out on people, and thats why i am, or i come off as, such a bitch..

i was listening to theses cds today with my sister… like self help ones or something… and i am reading, well starting to, reading up on everything to help myself..

and i am not sure why i am going to my psychotherapist.. i am debating on making another appointment.. i will continue to go i think, but not as often.. maybe once a month…

i dont know.
this is going to take a lot of thinking..

i fear i may have rubbed off on some people…

uh oh.

or maybe i am just blaming myself for other peoples immaturity…

honestly, i have been doing very well at this goal.

i know there is one person that would totally disagree with me, but if you knew the history between us then you would see why she says that…
she just takes everything i say the wrong way, on purpose, because we use to be really close, and we arent anymore, so i ended almost everything…

but i shouldnt be the one that gets put down all the time just because i am trying to put a serious stop to our old relationship.

soon enough it will be out of the way…hopefully.

tell her she looks nice.. hair, clothes, etc…
tell her you’ve been thinking about her…
do respond asap….

i think i am just really confused…
i don’t try to come off like this…
but it makes me nervous..

-i am insecure
-i am jealous
-i am misrable with my decisions.
-i am afraid to be happy
-i dont want to be like you.
or anyone else.

those are all that i have realized so far.

i take my unhappiness out on other people.
there is no reason for that.
they dont deserve it.

they deserve the best out there.

today was a pretty day.

i DEFINITELY have an attitude problem.
but the first step to getting better is admitting it, right?

yeahh
definitely need help on this…

i have the fucking right to be a bitch!

so this whole shit really started because of a guy.. and thats bull shit to me. so i needed to fix it, so i apologized to her… everything isnt completely better, but its hopefully getting there.
i dont want to loose any more friends.
so i am trying to be the good person and fix it.

i’m proud of what i am tryingggg to do.
but yeah.
..we’ll see.