Beat my depression

I’m on 20 mils (or whatever it is) anti-d’s and this has really helped. I feel quite normal and not tired and ‘numb’ like some of the other pills made me feel like. I’m sorting out my child care business now and understand that things can get on top of me. So, if I feel stress coming back I need to be aware. xxx

I am back on anti-d’s which has helped a lot recently.

Had my blood test on 22nd Feb. Had it really bad the last week or so. Started on Friday so I know it was PMT. Still feel bad now. Hopefully can sort this out next week when I get my results.

Been to the doctors. She has written ‘PMT and irregular periods’ on the blood form. I need to wait until my next one to have a test. Ordered some wellwoman vits etc that should help regulate hormonal imbalance. See how it goes. I feel a lot better in the last couple of days but burst into tears 3 times for no reason yesterday! I was glad I was home!!

I think I may have a hormone imbalance. Had a blood test a few years ago and was told that I may have an imbalance depending on the time of the month my bloods were taken. I couldn’t remember but the GP didn’t give a toss anyway!! Anyway now i’m not on the anti-depressants I have more life in me and can actually keep awake but my PMT has gone absolutely into overdrive. I actually attacked the hubby the other night and punched him 3 times in the face and have no memory of it. I know I got angry but can’t remember the specifics AT ALL.

OK! So I know I will NEVER beat it so I will have to work WITH IT! I know now that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER be able to feel OK all of the time. I have to understand that I will feel OK SOME OF THE TIME and even feel good some or a lot of the time. People with depression often feel that they will eventually feel well ALL OF THE TIME. Well, you will not feel well all of the time. You have to understand that to feel OK SOME OF THE TIME is a REALLY GOOD THING and that it means you are doing OK. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL OK ALL OF THE TIME. You also don’t have to feel BeAuTiFuL all of the time just SOME of the time.

Had some really good days this week but I can get over confident about feeling good that I crash easily. I need to take time out and look after my wellbeing. xx

Had a really good day but in the evening I just wanted to cry for no reason. Also my daughter wouldn’t go to bed until midnight and that is very unusual – she is usually wanting to go to bed by 8pm.It feels like a different depression without the anti’d’s! Feel much better today. I will have to deal with the odd bad day.

I have just been reading stuff for the ‘Learning to Live and not just exsist’ thing – I have realised that I mean I would like to Live rather than Exist when it comed to beating my depression and not using stuff to try and ‘drown out’ my life. i want to be able to feel what life can be like when you enjoy it.

I have stopped taking the mass amount of painkillers just to ‘feel like I’m not existing’ and have started to actually EXIST as my own person and be proud of myself. Not had any painkillers for about a week and feel great. A lot of it is down to this website actually and the nice people on it who encourage us. 3 cheers for ‘43 things’ xx