Be the man I envision myself as

If only I could maintain the thought process that comes when I write then when a situation arises that requires that thought process I would never get depressed or worrisome. Unfortunately, the mind is a fickle bitch.

I work hard to be a man of consistency, and I am looking forward to just being an old man who can sit and drink and speculate on life, write all day, ponder the universe and feel like I no longer have to fight in this life.

Until then, all I can do is remember the things that make me tick, hold them close to my heart, keep faith, gather strength in the daily things I enjoy, do what I can and then forget the rest, smile, be joyful like a playful kid, not always be so serious, take time to myself, rest my mind, strengthen my body, stay active in the things and hobbies that my heart enjoy and not try to do everything all at once.

1. I gave up alcohol FINALLY. Havent touched a drop since April 21st.
2. I am back in the job market and may have landed a position at an upscale Fitness Center (pray)
3. I am closer and closer to completing my course to have my Nutrition and Wellness Consultation Certification.
4. I have a good friend around me that is smart, on a straight and narrow path.
5. Im getting in better shape each day and eating healthy choices daily
6. Though it is tough I am doing daily what needs to be done to take care of past mistakes while simultaneously not being bogged down by it. I am inching forward into the new life for me…the new perspective, the new mind, the recovered body and soul.
7. As soon as I can I will attack my debt, once again, and clear them up one at a time.
8. I will continue to meet great people and do great things while remaining calm and focused.
9. I get up at 7:15am every day now
10. Im cutting ties to negative situations and staying at arms length to others (but to those its arms length with arms waiting to embrace and not hold them at bay)
11. im nicer
12. im more understanding and caring
13. its not all about me
14. ive learned contentment
15. I relish the small pleasures for they bring great joy!

I looked back, I looked forward, and never saw so many and such good things at once. It’s not for nothing that I bury my 28th year this week, I have earned the right to. I move forward with the attempt to philosophize with a hammer and how can I fail to be grateful to my whole life? -and so I tell my life to myself and make the future smile like the eye of the sun is upon my story.