Lose 10 pounds

im so sick of myself. i´ve been swearing to myself, that i will loose the weight… but im not. im not really putting on either so thats good…. but still!

I planned to many things to do today… so i ended up doing nothing. I woke up at 10 this morning and decided to wath TV for a while, so i fell asleep again and woke up around 2. Then i figured it was too late to get up anyway so i just stayed in bed all day. I managed to get up though at 5-6.

I did not eat anything today except two pieces of chokolate. By 10 i was feeling so hungry i ordered a pizza a breadsticks. I was going to eat it in the kitchen but then my brother gave me yet another comment on me + my weight + bad eating….. so i ate it in my room…. alone in the dark. So the pizza turned out to be yet another emotional eating. I only ate half of it though.

I better get to the gym tomorrow…. and clean my room!

I dont feel very well about myself right now. Im am very sensitive towards any kinda talk about my weight. I know i´ve gained alot of weight since my mum got sick but its christmas and i wanna eat… you know?
My brother just came home from school to be with us for christmas and i had been looking forward to it but he´s been an total ass! He complained about the christmas present i got him and yesterday he kept telling me how fat i was! I baked him these bread rolls with cheese and ham inside, and i apologized to him that i didnt have white flour, only the dark kind and then he said “well thats just good so you will maybe not get any more fatter”

Today i´ve had diet pepsi, cereal, some soup and yes some chokolates….. i dont want to eat anymore and i guess i dont have to since its almost 9 in the evening.
Tomorrow im gonna go to the gym, i really need it.
Ohh and to top it all i started my period this morning so im huge!!!

i managed to drag my fat butt to the gym today wooohooo!!!

since my mother got diagnosed with cancer last august i´ve gained almost 10 pounds…..

i feel so bloated, i wanna loose the weight but eating makes me feel better. I know its not the answear though.

Help!

I am so angry with myself. Now i gain more than ever! im 134 and i want to be 114…. i should be at least 10 pounds lighter…...

Starting tomorrow a stright diet and excersize every day!

Yebb i went to Denmark for 10 days…. me and my bf went out to dinner almost every night, ate big delicouse meals…. well to tell you the truth im to scared to even go on the scale right now. I did go to the gym though last night and i managed to bike for 15 minits aaaaaand stay on the skiing thingy for 30 minits!!!! well… i think thats pretty amazing. After only 45 minits at the gym i already feel better about myself.

I did not go to the gym tonight… but i will go tomorrow!

ugh im having my period so right now im extra bloated, my stomach is sore, my butt is sore and i really want something sweet.

i think i´ll hit the gym and then get some icecream for myself… lol i just like to be nice to myself while im on my period… at least today because the first 2 days are the worst

Last night (yes on a saturday night) i worked out for one and a half hours. First i was on the skiing thingy for 5 minits… jeez i thought that thing was gonna kill me! after that i went on the bike and noticed that my heartrate was like 170 after only my first 5 minits! then i biked for 25 minits.
After i biked i started weight lifting, i think i did a pretty good job, except i wasnt really understanding the backliftings and there was no one there in the gym to help…. after the weightlifting i biked for another 30 minits.

I have no idea how much i burned but thats ok.

And today i began the day with one egg, a piece of toast with ketcup, some fatty bacon pieces and a glass of pepsi max…. i know not so good! But i will bring a banana and a piece of healthy biscuits to work later. Then i will go to the gym again tonight.

I NEVER excersice at all… so it is pretty amazing for me that i´ve gone to the gym 4 times this week. It feels great and all that… but tonight i wasnt happy because i didnt feel like i was working it hard enough..
I think i´ve lost 1 kg though, and i did excersice for 30 minits wich was my goal, and i burned 130 calories wich is 30 more than last night…..