forgive

I started making prayer beads, then morphed into affirmation bracelets. Each bracelet has 7 main beads, each bead different. The idea is to meditate on all the affirmations in the morning and then choose one to use as a mantra during the day. I chose forgiveness as the theme. Here are the affirmations:

• I will let go of the past and let my wounds heal
• I silence old negative messages and replace them with healthy thoughts
• I accept my mistakes and let them contribute to my learning and growth
• I see this person in the now, free from all past feelings, thoughts, and beliefs.
• Today I create a new generation of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs.
• I have positive memories of loved ones.
• When someone hurts me, it is a call for help and requires a response of love.

Found this referenced in the book Take Me To Truth by Nouk Sanchez. I think this is terrific! It is actually written by Byron Katie and comes from The Work. You can find more at www.thework.com.

The Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet

1. Who angers, confuses or disappoints you and why? What is it about them that you don’t like?

2. How do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?

3. What is it that they should or shouldn’t do, be, think or feel? What advice could you offer?

4. Do you need anything from them? What d they need t do in order for you to be happy?

5. What do you think of them? Make a list.

6. What is it that you don’t want to experience with that person again?

THE FOUR QUESTIONS

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

THE TURNAROUND

Turn your statements around. For example, “Paul should understand me,” turns around into:

• Paul Shouldn’t understand me. (Isn’t that reality sometimes?)
• I should understand me. (It’s my job, not his.)
• I should understand Paul. (Can I understand that he doesn’t understand me?)

It’s not about blaming. It’s about discovering alternatives that can bring you peace.

I highly recommend reading Take Me To Truth. Will write more in another entry of keeping tracks of the books I’m reading.

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. —Anonymous

Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision.
—Randall Worley

There are situations when someone hurts us intentionally. Most times in my life, when my feelings are hurt, it is because someone did something unintentionally. I have to constantly remind myself that when someone hurts me intentionally (or even unintentionally, for that matter), it comes from another person’s source of pain or their own hurt. Most times folks are not even aware of their own pain because we are so numb to these things. And even if they are, if they knew how to respond lovingly, I am sure they would choose to.

It’s much easier to forgive someone else than to forgive myself.

I’ve learned that I get angry with people when I don’t accept them. They Really have not necessarily done anything wrong. They just don’t live according to my expectations. Therefore, when I can see that someone has not done anything malicious, that he/she is just human, and that I accept that person Exactly As She Is, then it helps me to realize that, maybe, just maybe, there really is nothing to forgive.

I know one thing about forgiving. It’s not something I do just once and it’s over. Sometimes not-so-nice attitudes creep in, and I need to challenge myself to “forgive freely and frequently.” I’m discovering that the most important thing in my life is relationships. I’m a single woman alone, so friends and family are important to me. A good career and lots of nice things don’t come close to the importance of good relationships. I’ve recognized unhealthy patterns that I need to change. I’m not sure if I’m making things too complex with this process, or too simple! But I’m working on it!