Be more optimistic

If one consistently worries or is pessimistic, I believe that they are missing the beauty of life. I think I just got tired of feeling like shit & decided not to take myself so seriously. Lighten up.
Hope for the best, expect the worst ~ & be pleasantly surprised, dammit! Be happy. If I’m not happy, I’m doing something wrong. Not every part of life is going to be just peachy. There will be tears, heartache, disappointments, anger, & losses to face. But there are also celebrations, jubilee, camaraderie, sunrises, people to love & people who will love you. I just can’t be sad when I think of that. So I won’t be.

I feel that over the past year I have blossomed. I still have a thin shell around me for protection, but I’m not scared anymore. I don’t think about the abuse anymore. I’m happy & I love it. I take more things with a grain of salt & I realize that things aren’t always what they seem. I’m more patient, I’m excited about my future. I smile & laugh continuously ~ others even comment on it, now.
I do believe I have accomplished this goal.

I have learned very quickly in this journey (since my life was turned upside down in January) that one can decide to be happy or sad. That whole deal about seeing the glass half-full or half-empty was really true all along. I know because I have had a pile of shit handed to me & said THIS IS NOT GOING TO RUIN ME. I have OCD – but I only obsess over thoughts. So it’s very easy for me to obsess on negative things that have happened. But one day I just woke up & said I cannot afford to feel this way anymore and somthing just clicked. There’s too much for me to be grateful for to sit around & mope!

An abusive man can strip you of many things – your dignity, your instincts, self-esteem, self-love – I won’t go on & on like I could… long story short – I turned into a pessimist. I totally believe in Murphy’s Law – if anything can go wrong, something will. THIS IS NOT ME & I REFUSE TO BE THIS WAY!