Have professional photos taken

After having a few days to absorb them, I’m starting to feel quite comfortable with the pics (referring here more so to the casual shots). I think this is largely due to having shown them to friends… the fact that everyone said “yep, I recognise that expression, and that one…” has ‘validated’ that the person in the photos is in fact me… if that makes sense.

What’s really interesting, is that in a couple of pics my expression is very much like my younger sister’s. One friend (whom I’ve known since primary school) agreed, and said “yeah… and I almost never see your sister in you”.

Tonight I gave my parents the web address and password so that they could see the pics… I guess I’ll get feedback some time during the next day…

... possibly in response to my nagging (or the bribe I’ve offered of Ferrero Rochers)... Russell has uploaded a few shots to a private gallery on his website, giving me the opportunity to see how some of them have come out… and he’s done a fantastic job.

It’s quite weird though… I was actually immediately more at ease with the nude shots than with the casual shots from the restaurant. Whilst the shoot in the studio was a challenge at the time, it’s much more confronting to see your own facial expressions (that you present to the world on a daily basis) captured in such a way… out of context, and frozen in time. It’s just taking me a little time to warm to my being in them…

Well, yesterday, to be precise (it’s 1.30am here).

Wow! Talk about an experience. I don’t believe I’ve ever done anything so confronting in my life! We started off with a cup of tea and a chat before we headed into the studio… to do the ‘classy nude shots’. I think I’d gone into this with a very preconceived idea as to how the shots would be done… in my mind, I’d imagined some overly coy, “sure Grandma, take a look at my photos” kinda shots… so I got a bit of a surprise.

Please don’t get me wrong… there was nothing remotely smutty or anything like that… or I would have been out that door like a scalded cat! In fact I think the resulting shots are going to be very artistic (lots of use of shadow and contrast)... and whilst Grandma might initially be a bit surprised, I don’t think she’ll disown me by any means. But even though when the flash fires you can’t really see anything too much, in the meantime you’re there… exposed. And it wasn’t even about the fact that Russ (the fab photographer) was in the room with me… more about the feeling of being so exposed on so many levels.

To explain a little more… there are certain things that you know about yourself, and whilst you may accept these things, and have a sense that you’re very comfortable within your own skin… for the most part you can accept these things because only you (and anyone with whom you choose to share) know about these things. Physically, these may range from marks or blemishes, scars, stretch marks, ‘lumpy bits’... or even the way in which you choose to keep your bikini line. But whilst you accept these things within yourself, choosing to share these things with others can be incredibly daunting… you’re placing yourself in a position where you may potentially be judged… and with the risk that the results may not always be positive. Much, I suppose, like choosing to reveal things about yourself on 43T.

After much muttering to myself, pacing nervously around the room, and debating whether or not this was something I could actually do (all in all about 15 minutes, I’d guesstimate)... I gingerly took the first few steps. Russ was very patient with me as I went through this process… and if I’d changed my mind at any point, there’d have been no worries whatsoever. As I saw glimpses of how the shots were actually going to turn out (he’d show me on his camera from time to time), I started to relax a little more… and by the time we finished up, I was pretty much back to cracking stupid jokes as usual.

After we’d finished in the studio, we went out for coffee and lunch down near the bay… and Russ snapped away whilst we drank, ate and chatted… some nice candid, casual pics hopefully will result.

I’m feeling quite proud of myself now for going through with this… it’s something I’d never have expected of myself, and I’m surprised once again with what I’ve been able to do. I also think I’m going to be very happy with the results… will just have to wait now for the call to say that they’re ready!

I’m taking a day of leave from work tomorrow, and having some photos taken. About a month ago, I was chatting to the photographer who took my wedding photos, and he suggested that I have some shots taken… kind of to commemorate this new phase in my life, I guess.

I thought about it for a moment, and decided that it was a great idea. So tomorrow we’re starting with (as he puts it) “classy B&W nudes” (ie. nothing I’d be too ashamed to show my mother) in the studio, and then some casual shots out and about as we drink coffee and such.

I think it’ll be good fun. He has a wicked sense of humour (you should see some of the emails we’ve been exchanging… such a giggle) so I’m sure it’ll be a great day. Plus, kind of importantly, he’s a fabulous photographer too!