stop masterbating

i been praying a lot today but i still gave in.. i think its because i feel like im not worthy of God. i feel like since he’s so huge that he created us, this world, that maybe i havent rreeli even begun to imagine his power.. i feel like i believe in God but haven’t fully accepted him yet. What i need to do is let go of any emotional contraints i feel and let my emotions take over to see how i reeli feel inside. hmm i confuse myself…

i gave in yesterday. its been about 6 weeks since ive done it. i dont feel too bad about it, i just wont dwell on it because than ill probly start feeling bad and end up giving in sooner than later.hope i dont write on this goal in a while :)

i gave in

I wish i had never begun

I didnt even think abt doing it until yesterday. Doing it doesnt make me happy but i dont know why i do it:( .I wasnt happy in general today, maybe thats y i did it. fuk i dont know i hate it, and myself for giving in

Its been a week and i gave in!! I was supposed to go 40 days !!!!! ok im never staying home alone again. i dont know what to do :(

Ok so, yesterday I reeli wanted to, but my mind said stop and I actually listened and stopped! BUT, I really wanted to today, and I just did it! And man I feel so content. I know this feeling will only last a few minutes and then Ill go back to feeling like sh*t for what I shouldnt have done. Dammit this sux.. Anyways, its been 10 days since I last did it. I hate keeping track of it because thinking about it is what leads to it, but if I dont keep track then I may never stop. So usually, I go pray once a week and this week I didnt pray. I didnt pray AND I masterbated, its bad.. I hope my week doesnt go bad because ive been going in the wrong direction :(
Also, someone had this picture up a while ago and its cool. Sorry for the whole copyright infringement thing but here it is if it helps anyone..

k so i kinda knew id break it, but its only been 6 days. wat the hell!!! So i know what my problem is, I’m self-destructive and i obviously have no self control. I just don’t know how i’m gonna stop. i know stopping urself when the thoughts first come helps but…i tried. I’ll mark the days on my calenderr..? I don’t know..

Lol. By ‘just do it’ i mean try to stop.
That’s it!... not that i did it today, i think i did it yesterday…but I’m stopping, yeap, starting today. I hope I won’t be writing another post saying I can’t stop, Stupid temptations!

Y cant i stop. i want to.. sooo bad