To live instead of exist

The answers will less often be found in a place and more often in a person.

Even though I have many modern, liberal, and uncommon ideals and beliefs, I am old-fashioned in this way: I still desire to live my life as a model of good behavior.

In writing my life’s story, I don’t want to be accused of being formulaic, comfortable, old-fashioned, or status quo.

I work to make my life story innovative, participating in beautiful attempts, and therefore necessarily involved in beautiful failures.

I want my story to be flawed for having tried some things before their time.

This path will lead to a flawed life, but hopefully a life that will reveal some new lights.

The only thing that can destroy the honest you . . . is you if you are unwilling to be honest about who you have been and who you would like to become.

Your life and choices tell your own story. And no one can destroy the honest you, except you. Others can harm you, ostracize you, criticize you, and hate you, but even if they do all those things, still only you can destroy the true you.

And despite what you fear others will do if you reveal your honest self, know that most often when you reveal the real you, you find out who are your real friends, and you will more likely engage in activities that make the world better in the end.

Please be honest with yourself and others. If you acquiesce to living your life with many partial lies, you will likely directly or indirectly support environments where others will also feel more pressured to live their lives with inherent lies.

You have one life to live as an example for others.

Fight for what is remarkably honest.

There are often worse things than having the secrets you’ve kept your whole life discovered. There are often worse things than having the lies you’ve lived revealed.

For example, it is often worse to live your whole life with your secrets or lies undisclosed and unaddressed.

If you can, find someone who genuinely enjoys pushing your pleasure buttons, whatever those are for you.

Life sure is fun if you have a companion who frequently gives you the chemistry, activity, or ideas that stimulate your pleasure responses.

And if you can’t find someone else to push them for you. Push your own pleasure buttons – often.

There are important conflicts of culture and courtesy going on.

Due to never-ending changes and lack of education, there likely always will be cultural conflicts.

You can determine for yourself how important these debates are to you and others. You decide how involved you will become in privately or publicly promoting certain ideas over other ideas.

The choices are yours to soldier or not to soldier.

Mandatory relationships, those with parents, siblings, children, and spouses are extremely challenging to maintain.

Elective relationships are probably even more difficult to maintain, and may require additional, artful skills.

I sometimes walk into old bookstores and become emotional, seeing so many books that contain the ideas and aspirations of so many.

I’m an example of those who will struggle.