live passionately

Honesty with loved ones is not something you calculate whether you can afford or not afford. It’s something you choose whether or not to do. And if you choose not to be honest with loved ones it will likely cost you more than you currently comprehend.

It’s not that nakedness reveals truth.

It’s that the whole truth cannot be found in the absence of nakedness.

Have you felt cheated because you feel no one has ever loved you with their whole heart?

Have you ever loved someone completely? If you have not, then it may be unrealistic for you to expect others to love you completely.

Don’t expect others to love you fully until you have loved others fully.

There are probably 4 significant others I have offered all my love to in my life. Most of them were not interested – so, in most cases I ended up offering everything and not receiving back in like kind. That is always hard. After my offer was declined, I did not withdraw my offer in anger, frustration, or as “revenge.” I left my offers outstanding even after they were declined – to demonstrate that when I said I would care for them always, I meant it.

You may not receive full commitment from others until you demonstrate full commitment toward others. And I’m not talking about being totally committed to your family or children. That counts, but not in a relevant measure to what I am discussing. Most people fully love their children and that is a great thing, but that is also a self-serving endeavor in most cases.

If you want someone to love you completely, then first demonstrate you love others completely. Until then, don’t ask others to pity or to be sympathetic to the fact that no one has loved you completely.

This will likely lead you to loving and losing, but there are worse things than giving your all to someone and having them decline your offer.

Better to have loved fully and to not have been loved in return than to never experience and demonstrate what it means to love someone else fully.

I’m not saying that if you love others fully, you will be loved in return fully. But I think you will improve your odds and your life if you clearly love others fully first.

Sometimes, it’s not that we really want to have the last word. More often, in those situations, we are longingly desperate to do anything so the conversation will not end.

What satiates you the most?

This is not a selfish or self-indulgent question.

It is a self-aware question. It is a question whose answer will reveal significant things about you. And the knowledge of your answer may help you better find social companions and significant others.

As humans, many of us tend to be drawn back toward experiences we perceive and feel are the most satiating. Satiation may come from sensory stimulations, cognitive growth, emotional responses, or other activities.

One more question to ask yourself about a potential significant other is:

What are his or her 5 most frequent satiating experiences?

Make a list of what you perceive to be their 5 most frequent satiating experiences.

Then make a list about your 5 most frequent satiating experiences.

How many of the “most satiating” experiences do you share?

How many of their “most satiating” experinces are things you really don’t enjoy?

These are very important, long term questions.

What are examples of “satiating” experiences?

Smoking several cigarettes
Eating until you are full
Teaching new concepts to other people
Having sex
Playing computer solitaire/games
Checking your facebook page
Talking on the phone
Reading a book
Masturbating
Playing a sport
Running/Hiking/Biking
Spending time with pets
Fighting for a political cause
Cooking new recipes
Fishing
Watching T.V.
Getting drunk
Making others laugh

Satiating experiences come in many forms. The activities that satiate one person can be aggravating to another. If you don’t like being around drunk people, who want to be unwieldy and loud, it’d be a good idea to find out if your potential significant other prefers to get sauced most nights.

Love can “overcome” many things. But sometimes we ask “love” to overcome notorious conflicts. Sometimes we expect “love” to create pleasant commonalites where they naturally don’t exist.

It’s not our job to critique what “should” satiate others. You will often set yourself up for frustration and conflict if you are constantly striving to ingratiate another person toward an activity they don’t intrinsically enjoy. You should try to introduce people to new experiences, but you shouldn’t expect most people to like most of what you like. Humans are beautifully and remarkably varied in the activities they enjoy.

Take a hard look at the question of: What are the 5 activities that most frequently satiate my signficant other? The better you honestly understand those things, the better you may be able to understand and please them – and the better you may be able to understand where your interests deviate, conflict, or overlap.

You will no longer want to keep your love for them secret or in hiding.

You will want to tell the world about your relationship with them.

There may be some people who can make a relationship work by only scheduling one or two nights a week to consider, communicate, and connect with their significant other, but I’ve never observed a relationship work or thrive from that low of a level of care.

If I wasn’t madly in love and sexually active with a person, I’d likely change my life to re-enter that state of existence.

This may sound like a romantic and common notion, yet it may not be.

I believe, although I may be wrong, many people don’t live with one or the other. Some live with neither.

I have a potentially more tenuous and difficult existence because I work toward always having both.

It will always be a mystery to me why men were given drives to have sex far more often than they warrant it.

Between love and respect, love often gets more attention. But your abilities to respect others and your consistency in respecting others may do as much or more good than your abilities to love others.

More people will probably want you to respect them than will want you to love them.

Don’t underestimate the importance of showing others you genuinely respect them.