become a diplomat

There is an ambassador who teaches at my University. She is only on campus Thursdays and Fridays, so I am going to go speak to her either tomorrow or Friday to decide if this is the right job for me.

Oh! THAT Ambassador who works at my University and can help me get a job in International Relations…
I should talk to her…

My only fear is that because I will be representing my government, I will have to be proper all the time and will lose myself…

I always want to remain a kid in spirit, I do not want to lose that for anything. Will wearing a suit and tie everyday and talking about politics drown my spirit? I hope not, I hope my spirit is stronger than that.

I hope I will always act as I wish to act. I will always seize the day, no matter the work I do…

I do not know if this is the career for me.

It’s not a matter of sinking or swimming, I will swim. I am a great swimmer. I think it’s a matter if I will just be a swimming body and if my soul will have to live elsewhere for a while… I can’t put my soul on hold. I can’t tell it to wait while I work. I have to keep it with me at all times. That’s the deal.

In a world where so many do not know their purpose in life, I know my purpose quite well: to enjoy life and to help others along the way, to always stand up for what is right and squeeze the wonder out of life. To never miss a second of the splendor…. Yet, with all my knowledge of my own purpose I still wonder if the job which supposedly will be great for me will leave me satisfied or not… and knowing myself I will probably say it is great, even if there are problems. I will try to make the best of it… I need to promise myself now that I will be honest with myself.

Me: Self?
Me: Yes Self?
Me: Do you promise to tell me if you do not like being a diplomat?
Me: I’ll try, and that’s supposing I even get a job as a diplomat…
Me: Okay, so promise for any job/career that you will tell me if you do not like it… So that we can change it. okay?
Me: Okay, I’ll try. I’ll try to be honest. I’ll really reflect on the situation.
Me: Do you promise to not suppress that child inside? To not supress yourself? Your true being? (Whatever that means…)
Me: Yes. I promise. I could never hurt a child, especially if that child is myself.
Me: That’s all I can ask.
Me: Do you think it’s at all strange that you’re having a conversation with yourself? Strange That you are not only having a conversation with yourself, but typing it for others to see?
Me: A little, but hey, I’m a strange person.
Me: Indeed.

And maybe my chosen cone “Public Diplomacy” will make all the difference… It seems to deal more one on one with people and cultural events, so that means that I do not have to suppress myself…

Hopefully I would quit anything that asked me to suppress myself. Hopefully whatever it is that makes me me will shine and exist regardless of what I do.

I hope.

I’m not sure that I want to be a diplomat, but I’ve taken steps to find out if this is the right job for me. I’ve written to a Diplomat in Residence (via the State Department’s website) and asked a good load of questions… I’m in the process of filling out my form to apply to take the Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT) and practice so that if I do decide this is what I want, then I’ll be ready. Likewise I am taking a “Intro. to International Relations” next semester to give me a taste of what I could be getting myself into…

I want to make a difference in the world and travel… But I don’t want all of my work (or even most/much) to be done in an office… I want to help people, bot behind a wall, but face to face… and I want to find intellectual and creative stimulation from the job… I guess that’s a lot to ask… I’ll also miss my family….